(Reblogged from subgirlygirl) All very true. But part of the last sentence (“If she&rs
(Reblogged from subgirlygirl) All very true. But part of the last sentence (“If she’s enjoying it, it isn’t punishment”) makes me wonder how enjoyable a punishment can and should be to still be effective. Many (or most?) people who are living some sort of D/s relationship are really getting off on power imbalances, so even the uncomfortable and non-sexual punishments can end up being enjoyable on some level. And I think that’s okay and just the way it is. For me, the punishment itself is just a (hopefully somewhat memorable) way of redemption. It’s a way for the sub to pay her dues and say “I still REALLY want to be good”. And I think that’s what makes the punishment effective: it’s not directly about how unenjoyable it is, but about how much effort the sub has to put in (to do it, or to bear it). So, if she (or I) gets visibly turned on during a punishment that’s perfectly fine, as long as I feel that she’s appropriately challenged and really working/suffering through it. P.S.: I think that most D/s'y activities need a certain kind of sexual spark to work well, and that even applies to punishments. -- source link