thisherelight: So it’s been a while. I know. I took 3 months off making photos. I’ve nev
thisherelight: So it’s been a while. I know. I took 3 months off making photos. I’ve never done that before, it was interesting waiting for the desire to bubble up again. I was pretty distracted regardless. That huge life changing thing I kept saying every year was coming finally came. Mom passed near the start of this month and then I felt the need to make work again. Emotions are weird, right? Everything is heavy and rich and laden with meaning right now. like a switch was flipped and suddenly everything is different than it was. my life as I knew it for the last 7 years is gone. I have to find a way out of the role of caregiver and back to thinking about what I want and need. It’s going to be weird. There’s already, in only a couple of grief colored weeks, a small well of energy building where she used to sit and laugh at my bad jokes. I hate that not-mom well of energy with all my being but some part of me craves having it too. The rest of this year is anyones guess. Theres a move coming up and I don’t know where I’ll land, or what it might look at. I catch myself aware as I roll the same gravel roads as always that the days of traveling them over and over are winding down. these pictures I make now will be the bookends between which a complicated and painful, but rich beyond belief, period of my life will live as memory, as history, as story. much like my mother I’m not quite ready to let it go. You always think you’re ready. You’re not. Life has a way of dislodging us from comfort. dislodging us from routine. It has this weird function that throws you into the unknown and eventually you get to know it so well you don’t want to leave it ever again. That’s how I started out here at the edge of all these unknown roads 8 years ago. I felt alien in this empty prairie and now it’s home. it’s time to find home again. I can’t promise I will be updating here regularly. I can’t really promise anything these days, but I can say my IG while also neglected is more often updated than here if you want to follow along and see what comes. -- source link