theonion: Biden Frantically Cleaning Up Trashed Vice President Residence At Last Second WASHINGTON&m
theonion: Biden Frantically Cleaning Up Trashed Vice President Residence At Last Second WASHINGTON—Telling reporters he needed to get his “digs back into primo condition” as quickly as possible, Vice President Joe Biden was seen scrambling around Friday morning in a frantic attempt to clean up Number One Observatory Circle just hours before his successor was scheduled to move into the residence. Biden, who said he needed to get the place “real fucking clean” because the incoming resident was a “total tightass,” reportedly spent his last remaining moments in the home darting from room to room prying Keystone Light cans and empty bottles of Jose Cuervo from the sticky wooden floors and tossing them into heavy-duty black plastic trash bags. According to sources, the vice president paused frequently to sniff the Colonial- and Federal-style furnishings, spraying an aerosol disinfectant on anything that smelled “iffy.” Keep reading -- source link