wynspers: Okay so I have a lot of asks sitting in my inbox right now and A LOT of them are asking fo
wynspers: Okay so I have a lot of asks sitting in my inbox right now and A LOT of them are asking for tips on giving head and how to provide oral pleasure, so I have decided to write it as one long text post. This isn’t the ultimate guide, like with many things I will always advocate for having fun, experimenting and trying new things, this is just a brief (compared to the veritable essay I could probably write) overview and introduction. ————————————— Part one: basic techniques and maximising your comfort ————————————— Before you begin Just like any other form of penetration it’s going to be a lot less pleasant for both of you if your mouth is dry. If you have a problem with your mouth feeling dry (very common with smokers, after you’ve eaten salty foods, had caffeine or certain types of alcohol etc…) make sure you drink plenty of water and perhaps do things to help you salivate more before you begin (e.g. Chewing gum or similar). Practice makes perfect is a pretty good rule. Don’t be surprised if your jaw gets sore the first few times - you can try to counteract this by practicing on toys in your spare time, doing exercises for your jaw and massaging your jaw and cheeks shortly before you start (if you have advanced knowledge it’s about to take place). If you have a regular partner I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you practicing on them either! Despite the name many people attribute to it, there’s not much blowing and it shouldn’t feel like a “job”. It should ideally be something you both enjoy and get pleasure from, don’t force yourself to do it if you’re not comfortable, talk and communicate any reservations with your partner. Know your positions There are so so so many different possible positions to be in when giving head and I really can’t list them all…but have a think about the position both of you are in. The easiest position is usually with him standing and you on your knees looking up at him (this may vary in accuracy depending on height differences…but usually…). I promise I’m not just saying this because I’m submissive and enjoy being on my knees! In this position if you open your mouth wide and look up towards him it will ensure your throat is more open and not obstructed in any way. It also keeps your airways more open and stops you hunching over and collapsing your chest so every breath you get is going to be more effective. This would be my general recommendation for a position for beginners. Whatever you decide though, when it comes to positions try to be mindful of the ways in which different positions will impact both of your comfort and pleasure. Foreplay isn’t just for girls!!! Take your time, it’s not a race! Take your time and go slow, start with gentle licks and kisses, alternate between using your tongue flat along his shaft maximum coverage and using the tip for more precise movements and sensations. Really just worship it. Kiss along his inner thighs, trace the infinity sign on his balls and gently (gently!) suck on them, lick along his shaft, run the tip of your tongue in circles around the head…take just the head in your mouth and flick the very tip with your tongue…slow, sweet, loving worship rather than just diving straight in will be much more pleasurable for both of you. I absolutely promise. The actual giving head part If you’re just starting out or don’t have much experience, it’s best if you set the pace. Go slow at first and let yourself adjust and get comfortable. What you ideally want to be doing is breathing in as he withdraws and breathing out as he thrusts inwards, as you get into the rhythm of this you can pick up the pace and your muscles should stay relaxed enough to allow you to start taking him further into your mouth. While he’s not buried “full hilt” down your throat, use a hand to gently stroke the base of his shaft as well, it will help increase his pleasure while you adjust, you can also use it as a guideline as you progress, slowly take him further into your mouth, decreasing the number of fingers needed to “bridge the gap” so to speak. Also, in case I need to say it…look out for your teeth…very very few men will appreciate feeling them whilst they have their most sensitive body part in your mouth. Deep Throating Gagging, feeling as though you’re choking a little and drooling is all perfectly normal, and actually often encouraged, try not to panic as this will often have a cyclical affect whereby the panic contracts the muscles in your throat, which will cause you to panic more and so on. Panic should stop being a problem with experience, in the meantime focus on how much you trust your partner, set a hand signal or non verbal gesture that acts similar to a safeword, discuss any concerns beforehand and also time yourself in a casual setting to see how long you can hold your breath (knowing you can voluntarily hold your breath for say, 2-3 minutes without problems will sometimes be the extra reassurance you need). This may be counter intuitive the first few times but once he is buried in your throat completely it’s actually better to keep him there for a little while and let your throat relax around him. Once you’ve relaxed a little more begin to slowly move so that he is thrusting in and out of your throat once more. Again, start slow and gradually increase the pace as his pleasure mounts. Also try sticking your tongue out, it will open up your throat more and give the added bonus of being able to lick at his balls when he’s buried deep in your throat. Spit, swallow or wear? This is a matter of personal preference and if you’re nervous about it, best to discuss with your partner beforehand. It can absolutely also be subject to change! Personally, I’m not a fan of spitting (unless it’s for another purpose, see below) but thoroughly enjoy swallowing or pulling out right before the moment of climax and having him cum on my face or breasts - this will be determined anew each time in my future by geekydominant but that’s us and isn’t necessarily a rule for everyone. Try out all three options and see what works best for you guys! (other valid options involve a combination such as holding it in your mouth until he orders you to swallow, spitting it into a glass or doggy bowl and drinking it again, or spitting it out to have it poured/wiped on you…actually there’s a lot of options, but you know, those are the main three) ————————————— Part 2: Maximising his pleasure ————————————— Ok, so the above is all well and good and hopefully gets you started out on your way but you probably also want to make sure he really enjoys it as much as possible right? There is a preface to this in that I’ve never been on the receiving end so can’t really personally vouch for the following and have a limited data pool of experience in terms of quantity of partners…but hopefully a few gents will either be able to confirm or contribute… Monotony is rarely sexy Change it up! No one wants to feel like their partner is just going through the motions when it comes to sexual activity, we want to know the other person is not just a willing participant but an eager one…giving head is no different. Try mixing up the depth of strokes, the pace, how frequently/hard you suck, the way in which you kiss and lick him during foreplay…take him all the way out part way through and swirl your tongue around the head before sinking back down on him…keep it fresh, interesting, maybe even a little surprising! Make eye contact and watch his face for signs of pleasure Ok, so urban legend has it that some guys don’t like eye contact while you’re going down on them. I’ve never come across someone who has actually admitted being one of these people though…most men seem to enjoy being able to look into your eyes while they fuck your mouth. If you notice a facial expression or hear sounds that clearly indicate they particularly enjoyed something you did make a note of it and do it more frequently. Alternatively if you see signs that he disliked something make a note to try avoiding that in the future. Each man is different so experiment and try to find out what all his little pleasure buttons are! Get your tongue involved Don’t be afraid to use your tongue, stick it out and lick his balls while he’s inside you, move it in waves along his shaft as he thrusts in and out of you, if you’re one of those people who can roll their tongue try curling it around his shaft while he’s buried inside you! Try out different things and try to find the perfect combinations and frequency to really drive him wild! Try introducing new sensations You can do a lot of interesting things with a little creativity and a willingness to experiment. You can try playing with temperatures by swilling warm tea in your mouth for about 20-30 seconds before taking him into your mouth to make it feel extra warm, or sucking on an ice cube beforehand to help cool things down…or experiment with things like popping candies…or lots of things! Spice it up a bit! Moan Straight forward enough. It lets him know you’re enjoying it too and I’m lead to believe it actually also physically feels good for him as well. Don’t stop at the orgasm He’s likely to be feeling pretty sensitive after he orgasms. Hold him in your mouth for a little while afterwards until you feel his body completely relax underneath you and he begins to shrink again. I like to stay curled between his legs for as long as possible afterwards going back to soft, tender loving worship with gentle licks and kisses (this might just be me though). ————————— There’s so much more I want to write but I’ll leave that there as the first instalment and may have to aim to write the rest out in the future… That should be an okay starting point for now though… As always I hope that this has been somewhat helpful and useful! Sorry again for the delays, I hope the wait seems worth it! Please feel free to message if there’s anything specific you want to know and I’ll do the best I can! ~Wyn x -- source link