Go to Sleep No platitude had ever seemed more consistently true than ‘ignorance is bliss&a
Go to Sleep No platitude had ever seemed more consistently true than ‘ignorance is bliss’ to her. Time and again the burden of her knowledge worked against her, some malevolent force that sought to undo pretty much everything that she desired. In this instance, it was enough just to think about it, to keep her mind whirring when all she wanted to do was unwind and let go. To put it shortly, she couldn’t sleep. Not when she knew what slumber held for her, excitement bouncing around her stomach like a pinball, each thought ricocheting off another. Sleep meant him, meant waking up to his hands on her, his mouth near hers, to everything that she could ever want. Sleep meant waking up his, the physical manifestation of everything she felt. He was travelling, and would arrive in the middle of the night. He’d told her what to wear to bed, which side of the bed to sleep, and, most importantly, that she be completely gone by the time he arrived. He wanted to greet her subconscious before her waking mind, slip in through the backdoor before she even realised he was there. He wanted to sneak, and she wanted to let him. But sleep evaded her. Teased her through the edges of her mind, kept to the periphery so that she could never quite get a hold of it. Thoughts of what he would do to her, what she could do to him once she lazily rose up through heavy layers of unconsciousness before breaking through the surface, waking up and seeing him there, forced any genuine relaxation down, kept her energised and awake, even as the clock slid around its face, time seeping away from her. In the end she tired herself out, overthought her way into ignorance. Some stray tendril of consciousness led her away from thoughts of him, pulled her back into the mundanity of life and bored her asleep. But for far too long, torturous minute after torturous minute, she cursed her mind, cursed her knowledge, and did everything she could to fall away from thought. Which, of course, didn’t do her any favours at all. -- source link
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