The Moment of TruthAbout a month ago we posted a picture of two Spanked boys having a post-Spanking
The Moment of TruthAbout a month ago we posted a picture of two Spanked boys having a post-Spanking chat with their Disciplinarian. The caption told a larger story we couldn’t cover in that post. This week we’re hoping to flesh that out a bit. Here’s the image we posted for reflection this week:Now Explain: Why Did I Have to Spank You?Tips for TopsMy Daddy isn’t a certified Spanker. He was dragged into this Discipline-centered relationship because I wouldn’t have a vanilla relationship with him. I’d already done that when I was younger and that didn’t last. What happened over time with Daddy and me is that he uses Spankings as a way to legitimately address bad behaviours and to also keep our relationship non-vanilla and more vibrant. This has worked very well for us for a couple of reasons, but partly because of a key element that happens in all Spankings he administers.After spending some real time in The Corner after a paddling, he will call out my name and say, “jake, come over and stand in front of me.” It’s at this point I have to apologize. Wait, what?! Why am I apologizing?!!!!“Daddy, I’m sorry you had to Spank me.” Usually, he’ll say, I have to say this either hugging him or looking him in the eye. The circumstances vary. But both ways, it’s actually really hard to do. That moment of explanation is complicated for me often because I’m all wound up from having had my bottom paddled or switched with The Stick. Answering Daddy when he asks—"Now, why did I have to Spank you?“—is really really difficult to do, especially when you’re shaken up like that. Since it’s often hard for Men Who Spank and new boys to connect, it might be valuable here for us to recommend incorporating this approach in to each Spanking you administer. Address your boys after you Spank. Their job is to better behave, so ensure they can explain that they’ll do that. Maybe ask them how they’ll do that. Call and Response:You might consider a "call and response” approach like my Daddy does: You: “Do you promise to not do that again?” If he doesn’t follow the instructions at first, walk him through it. “I said, ‘Do you promise to not do that again.” “Yes.” “Yes, what. Say, 'I promise not to do _______ again.’ Say that to me. Look me in the eyes when you speak to me.”boy: “I promise to not do __________ again.” You: OK, good, transition the conversation to say this: “If I do ______________, I know I’ll be punished again.”boy: “I promise to not do __________ again. If I do ______________, I know I’ll be punished.”You: “I shouldn’t have to Spank you should I?”boy: “No.”You: “No, Sir, but yes that’s right, 'No’ was the right answer. Now pull up your underpants, get yourself together, and when you’re ready, meet me in the living room so we can get on with our day.”These sorts of serious, calm, stern instructions can help bring down the temperature after The Spanking and get the boy thinking about “the why” of each Spanking. For boys who find a more commanding Daddy exciting, the excitement will increase. For smaller Daddys, doing this will provide you a strong bearing and commanding presence. For bigger boys, the ability to command the situation verbally helps make them stay in their boy headspace after a Spanking.And for boys who do not follow your lead, you can remind them that you have a stick ready to deploy as needed.Please comment below or email us with your ideas.________________________________________Follow Cornertime Confidential Wherever You Are:Tumblr ∙ Twitter ∙ Blogger ∙ WordPress -- source link