No one can accuse Anthony Bridgerton of not being dramatic af enough. He has always been an unusuall

No one can accuse Anthony Bridgerton of not being dramatic af enough. He has always been an unusually capable man so it’s no surprise he’s capable of fucking up this severely (but let’s not give all the credit for such dubious achievement only to him, he’s been helped the whole time by the equally talented Miss Kate Sharma). Maybe, that explains why his mind can only repeat the words ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’ when he storms into the dressing room. In the middle of his panic attack, he must be certainly wishing his less than sterling record of two consecutive pall mall losses were the biggest of his problems, alas, the opposite is the truth. He has lost his bride, his reputation and the mantle of the London’s most eligible bachelor, basically ruining his whole career in one fell swoop. Choosing one’s bride with your head and not your cock heart has obviously backfired bigly, no wonder since such endeavours often tend to lead to similarly disastrous ends. But perhaps, the Viscount’s losing streak might yet turn out to be a blessing in disguise, even if it doesn’t seem to him that way right now.Like Kate, Anthony wants to find a quite corner and lick her wounds, but that’s downright impossible when followed by his entire family in tow, chasing him, as if they were his honorary entourage of bodyguards and devoted support system ready to protect him from himself, when all he wants is to run away somewhere from all of it (notice how he immediately heads to the window the moment he enters the dressing room, either ready jump out of it or get a fresh air, before he takes a sharp turn to the mirror) and hide (suddenly a closet doesn’t sound as such a bad place where to be; he no doubt likes Kate’s closet, she did better than him at finding a silent corner at least, that’s for sure). Kate and Anthony even panic and freak out out the same way: silently, secretly, trying to contain and stifling it. Anthony wonders how the hell has he accomplished to turn the wedding of the year into a fisco for the ages while regretting his life choices, spiralling and freaking out inwardly as he desperately tries to compose himself and maintain his control which is hanging by a thread because it’s been stretched for far too long. Because this is how Anthony has been coping with his issues and feelings for the past 10 years – smothering them, swallowing them and choking them back for so long they are suffocating him now. It’s symbolic how he uses his fingers to push against his forehead with so much strength his knuckles go white – pushing all of it deep inside and struggling not to let any of it out, any of his ugly side to get out, not allowing the worst and weakest of himself to be seen by anyone, hiding them behind a wall of control and denial of his own making.However, it keeps getting increasingly harder to keep them at bay as it’s been 10 years worth of trauma, repressing of his needs, and negating himself. It’s fitting the wall Anthony has been building for so long falls apart and he breaks free, allowing himself to openly show tears and allowing them to flow for the first time in a decade when he learns Kate woke up. It’s the relief of her being alive and well and his love for her which make him shed tears and set him free. Because he hasn’t cried since the moment he watched his father die, it was the first time he had to put his family and his siblings before him and his heart’s desires, and he’s been doing it ever since. It heralded the end of Anthony’s childhood and innocence as he was required to grow up and become a man and Lord Bridgerton overnight. It was his control which stopped him from shattering and falling apart and he’s been clinging to it like a drowning man clinging to a straw. That’s when it all began. He might have carried on like this for the rest of his life, but then Kate stormed into it and turned it upside down. It’s for her. It’s always been all for her.Moreover, the fingers serve another purpose – to hide his feelings from his family. It’s for that very reason why he has his back turned to them the whole time, still, his reflection in the mirror betrays him because mirrors don’t lie. They show people exactly as they are, even the part they want to hide.Even though his whole family is there to help him and support him, Anthony processes everything inwards, dealing with it alone on his own and pretending he is okay when nothing can be further from the truth. It’s like he is swallowing all the frustration, confusion and helplessness inside him, an art he might not have invented but definitely perfected. He even puffs up his chest and puts his hands on his hips in a desperate show of bravado, nonchalance and a semblance of authority. As he is leaving, though, his mask cracks for a fleeting moment revealing the helpless, haunted eyes of a man who doesn’t know what to do. In the end, he doesn’t convince anyone. -- source link

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