so-glad-were-neighbors:In so many ways, I can relate to how Tom felt like during the downward spiral
so-glad-were-neighbors:In so many ways, I can relate to how Tom felt like during the downward spiral of his relationship with Summer. During my first long relationship, I was oblivious to reality of our situation. I was so caught up in fulfilling this idealized fantasy of how I wanted our relationship to look like that I negated all the cracks and sign of imbalance in our relationship. I was oblivious to everything because I refused to believe that our relationship was anything but perfect. It all came crashing down on me eventually. When it happened, I was in a state of shock, like time and life stopped. I spent all my energy crafting this idealized relationship that I lost sight of the important foundations that keeps a relationship strong. It took me months and months to realize the first sign of cracks, and when I did I felt so stupid. If I could give my past self advice it would be: Don’t idealized relationship, focus on now and not on what could be, be level headed, and never take things for granted. A relationship can only work when two people are in the same place mentally. It prevents illusions from controlling reality and expectations, it keeps people grounded. It is important. -- source link