bemusedlybespectacled:brunhiddensmusings:prismatic-bell:what-even-is-thiss: the-haiku-bot: kathryndu

bemusedlybespectacled:brunhiddensmusings:prismatic-bell:what-even-is-thiss: the-haiku-bot: kathrynduske:nuka-rockit: If anyone else was wondering about the slutty battle pants:The Landsknecht’s Fancy Pants – Veritable Hokum If anyone elsewas wondering about theslutty battle pants:Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up. There’s a guy in the notes calling modern Germany “weak and gay”. I don’t think there’s enough time in one lifetime to fully unpack that. Anyways, my favorite part of German history is where they just decided to replant an entire giant old growth forest and it worked. Lose your local forest? Simply put it back. Want another piece of wild German history that isn’t secret fascist worship?The story of the Pied Piper is at least partially real and documentation of it goes back to the early 1300s.Yeah. The Hamelin town records literally begin in 1384 with the phrase “it is 100 years since our children left.” The first known record, dating circa 1300, was a stained glass window in a local church commemorating the event. It was destroyed in the 1660s, but enough written and even painted records survive that it was possible to make a reconstruction of it:(Credit to Hans Dobberton.) To give you an idea of how accurate this reconstruction might be, by the way, here’s a drawing from 1592 in which the Piper shown is the one from the window:Written references to the story up through the 1500s are astonishing in number. “Astonishing?” Well. This wasn’t London or Rome. These people were not royalty, nobility, or even gentry. They were peasants and working people. And yet we have this commissioned window only sixteen years after the event, plus a further three either surviving or “we don’t have the original original but we have copies or attestations of the original” written records, and also the records of Hamelin itself. All agree on the date–1284–and the number of taken children–130. In 1816 we see the Brothers Grimm documenting the story in their first compilation of folktales*, which drew on eleven different past sources (which is more than the total amount I’ve found in research, meaning they either had more sources in German, some of their sources are now lost, or both). A now-lost choirbook actually contained a written eyewitness account, which we can no longer check against the other surviving records (because it was, you know, lost), but which is attested in other sources. We even know who it belonged to: Johannes de Lüde, whose mother was the eyewitness.The oldest known surviving account–beyond that heartbreaking line at the beginning of the Hamelin town history–dates to 1440-50, and actually used the inscription on that stained-glass window to affirm the exact date–the children left or were taken from the town on 26 June 1284.I would like to pause here to say that the amount of documentation we have for the story is frankly insane, given the time period and the fact that Hamelin was just a town built around a monastery (that doesn’t even seem to have still existed at the time of the story). The earliest record we have of its population is in 1689, when it had just 2400 people; it’s reasonable to assume that at the time of the tale, there were only a few hundred. And there were seven hundred years for these texts to get lost, and many probably did–it’s reasonable to assume the local church had birth and death records that would have told us whether the children died or just vanished, for example, but those records were probably destroyed along with the church in 1660. Hamelin has been invaded due to acts of war several times. Being a German town, there’s literally no telling what records of the place Hitler might have destroyed. That we still have this much record of a single event in a small town speaks to how catastrophic the event truly was, given the time period. Like just so we’re clear, England wasn’t yet fully unified when this was happening and the age of Vikings was only 200 years past. When I say it’s astonishing we have this many records (especially coming out of Europe at the time), it’s fucking astonishing.So what actually happened to the children? Unfortunately, this is the point at which we know it’s nonfiction because fiction would never have such an unsatisfying ending: we don’t know. Some research has been done that suggests the lost “children” were actually teenagers who just…migrated somewhere else, or went on a Children’s Crusade, and there is some evidence to support both these theories. Earlier theories that the children died in a plague don’t hold up–this theory says that the place from which “they were not seen again” would have been their mass grave, but there’s no indication of any such grave existing, and also, let’s not insult the medieval Germans that way, shall we? They knew the difference between “left” and “died.” If it was a mass death (somehow, of only children), they would have said “our children died.” Or, if they were feeling poetic, something like “our children were taken from us by the hand of the Lord.” Any theory that relies on our medieval counterparts being fucking morons doesn’t hold a whole lot of weight. Now.Regardless of whether I was able to give you an actual end to the story, isn’t that a whole fucking lot more interesting than Heinrich Himmler?*I know we think of them as writing fairy tales, but actually they were more in the business of writing them down. The Grimms were actually scholars. see also- Gotz of the iron hand, the man whom all elder scrolls protagonists are based on as he was a ‘warrior poet’ who was banned by the holy roman emperor, twice, punched merchants, kidnapped a bishop, purchased a castle with his quest reward money, declared war on an entire city because it stiffed someone on their prize money for an archery contest, was elected unanimously as the leader of the german peasents revolt without anyone telling him untill later, and is credited with coining the phrase ‘kiss my ass’ (originally ‘lick my ass’, dirrected at an enemy commander  { Tell your  captain, that for the emperor I entertain, as I have ever done, all due respect; but as for him, he may lick my arse!})also his hand was blown off by a cannon when he was like 21 so the next 20 years of adventure and further 20 years of drunken house arrest were with a full metal alchemist style articulated metal hand, but thats almost minor compared to inventing the phrase ‘kiss my ass’ see also- the holy roman empire. seriously just try and make heads or tails of this map and then guess what life was like living there see also- the weimar period, the bit everyone forgets about nestled between WW1 and WW2 where germany was trying to rebuild, moved its capitol away from berlin as berlin was at the time a crime riddled shithole that was partially on fire, and realized the way to get out of debt was to lean heavier on skills that export well like chemistry and art, becoming the world epicenter of innovation almost overnight. one of the highest points of this development even included an attempt to create a repository of all knowledge, where if you had a question you would mail a 3X5 card to this facility, where a secretary would then look up an answer and mail you back a 3X5 card with an answer about things that may have appeared in hard to find rare books, scientific papers, and the like. so any time people with a reich-boner try and claim the technological superiority of nazi germany what they miss is that the nazis hijacked the already existing steampunk nirvana and claimed they came up with it, often with the scientists responsible at gunpoint. considering they were able to rise from the ashes in about 14 years and it was actively hard for the nazis to take power from this era its quite impressive see also- the defenestrations of prague. how often do you have to throw politicians off of third story window before it becomes a named event in history?see also- Hesse-Kassel and the hessians, where during what many people call ‘the georgian era’ or ‘the american revolutionary war’ there was a germanic citystate (germany as a country would not exist untill the 30 years war) where basically their only export was mercenaries in moderately silly pants and very silly hats. thus not only was a fair portion of the soldiers that were sent to quell the american rebellion technically germans, a lot of them were either stranded on american soil after the english buggered off or were left in a situation where it honestly made more sense to just stay in america. for some reason the only time people remember hessians are that one time yosemmetie sam was dressed like one and his pants explodedsee also- the 30 years war. somehow military history buffs only talk about WW2, vietnam, briefly mention caesar existed, and if theyre brittish mention the 100 years war but never remember the absolute fustercluck that was 219 very tiny kingdoms and principalities that were not yet technically germany serving as a battlegrounds that cost about ¼ the german population and civilian casualtied outnumbered military casualties 7 to 1. its a very messy period of history where basically every european country had its dick in the pie, where pretty much everyone agreed the four horsemen roamed the land and, the poor ate each other as the nobles made money. and is a lesson into why you need to pay your damned mercenaries, a lesson rulers through history have never cared aboutsee also- whatever the fuck prussia wassee also- this fruit loop throwing my hat into the ring for empress maria theresa, the ultimate Gaslighting Gatekeeping Girlboss, because I <3 austria(I’m not joking about the gaslighting and gatekeeping though, she was great in a lot of respects like promoting vaccination and education but she was also bigoted as hell and super controlling of her kids) -- source link

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