silentauroriamthereal:weasowl:sergle: i’m reading why does he do that and this last part h
silentauroriamthereal: weasowl: sergle: i’m reading why does he do that and this last part has been ON FIRE, i am hollering in my house. I had such a temper problem (one of many problems) when I was young. My teachers would tell my mother “your child was out of control” and my mother would tell them:“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. He is responsible for his behavior. If he truly couldn’t control his behavior, he would need to be institutionalized, but that’s not what’s happening. Institutionalization isn’t what he needs. He needs to be held accountable for the acts he thinks his anger makes excusable. He’s not out of control, he’s not exercising his control appropriately - saying that he’s out of control lets him off the hook and teaches him the wrong thing”Over hearing that was a powerful lesson for me, and one that stays with me 30 years later All of this. “Can’t” gives away agency, whether it’s our own or someone else’s. “He can’t help it; he was just raised that way”, for instance - one of the most common lines used by a woman to explain away a man’s abusive behaviour. -- source link