What Drives Me to Be a Girl… a Woman?This is a question that took many years, decades, to
What Drives Me to Be a Girl… a Woman?This is a question that took many years, decades, to understand in my life so I could give an honest answer to myself and a reasonable person who might ask. During this journey, at a very young age, I received several pieces of misinformation that early on led me to an incorrect conclusion, the 1960′s. So I spent years denying this part of myself, the thinking I just needed to embrace the masculine and that dressing as her was a sin.But this feeling and need did not go away, or be pushed away despite my efforts, and just grew stronger over the years. I knew I had to face it and understand the why. So I was driven, almost obsessed, to find the answer. And Yes… I was excited every time I wore feminine clothes and so disappointed I had to return to my masculine clothes.What helped a lot was reading about others who had similar feelings and desires. I knew I was not alone with these feelings and needs. I’ve always had, from a very young age, an interest and related to, the feminine more than the masculine. This interest was before I ever wore my mother’s clothes for the first time.It was excitement at first, as I dressed in secret. But over time as I obtained my own feminine clothes, and I did it more often, I felt something else, calmness. This calmness stood out to me and I created more times to stay dressed in secret to test it.I bought more clothes, not just what I call play clothes, that I could create an outfits that were reasonable. I felt such a desire to stay dressed this way, to end the secret, that my boy clothes were a mask I wanted to purge. The desire to walk out the door in these feminine clothes as my clothes was powerful.In preparation I had to answer the question to myself that dressing as a girl / woman was being myself. The reason was and is this is my gender identity. My gender and my sex are separate.The second question I need to answer to myself is whom I’m attracted to has nothing to do with how I’m dressed, how I present. In other words I’m not attracted to men at this point in my life.And the third question I needed to answer is this is how I was created, it was not a mistake or a sin. After reading the bible in depth I don’t believe being heterosexual is the only way. There is nothing wrong with being gay. I don’t dress to trick someone. I’m upfront with who I am. How you conduct yourself is what is important, not that your sexual orientation is. Your partner is not just about procreation. Reading the bible yourself in context is very important, not just a single passage out of context. Gain your own faith.With these questions answered and understanding the consequences of coming out of the closet financially, in an unfair world, I successfully had my first time out dressed as a woman. I repeated this many more times and soon came out to my family and friends giving the answers to the questions I knew they would have. I felt solid in doing this and I have no regrets. That was about ten years ago or so.Yes… the subject interests me because I personally live it in my life, my ongoing slow transition. Dressing as a woman puts a smile on my face as I’m being true to my gender identity, myself. -- source link
#transgender#non-binary gender#gender dysphoria#my journey