karenlyra69:Many times I wonder what could have happened if I could have taken other decisions relat
karenlyra69:Many times I wonder what could have happened if I could have taken other decisions related to be transgender when I was younger. That opens the door to daydreaming about how my life would be now and how happy it could be. However, some of those times it also takes me to think how I did not decide different and I find myself being hard at me for those decisions I took and I get into negative emotions about it. Looking at the past is necessary as we can learn from it but sometimes it could be harmful and unfair because I could be judging my younger self with the experience and knowledge I have today, even though there is still a lot that I need to experience and learn. Getting stuck there is useless as I can’t change the past. But maybe I can work on those emotions. Today, that negative thinking happened once more and when I realized I was being hard at me again I decided I have to do something different as that attitude doesn’t help at all. If I am going to daydream about my past, instead of judging maybe I can imagine I can meet my younger self who is confused, sad and afraid about what she is feeling as a transgender. I know she is wondering what she could be in her life while she is feeling trapped, helpless and still had to take those decisions with the little she knew back then. I thought about it and if I could meet her I would definitively not judge her but would hug and comfort her. I would hold her in my arms lovingly and I am sure she would cry on my shoulder as if I were the shelter she couldn’t find at those tough times so she can release her feelings and emotions finding some relief, finally. I would thank her for moving forward the way she did, in spite of all the difficulties she had to face, and maybe at that moment I would find myself whispering a song to her: “Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you’ll be, can’t go far but you can always dream. Wish you may and wish you might, don’t you worry hold on tight, I promise you that there will come a day… Butterfly fly away.”, and maybe as I finish whispering she falls asleep in my arms feeling safe, loved and in peace… she deserves to be loved most of all!!! hugs… -- source link