(4/8) “With Red I focused on consistency: same thing, same time, every day. That’s one of the things
(4/8) “With Red I focused on consistency: same thing, same time, every day. That’s one of the things I learned in parenting class, the importance of structure. So we kept a tight schedule. Wake up. Eat breakfast. Go to school. I even asked his mom to call at the same time every night. And the routine seemed to be working. His grades were improving. There were less visits to the principal’s office. And even though Red’s an introverted guy, he was becoming a leader in the classroom. The teachers told me that whenever he had a good idea, the whole class would start grooving with him. His behavior wasn’t perfect of course. We were still working through some attachment issues, but that was understandable. Red had been separated from me and his mom at such a young age. And the idea of a nuclear family had always been important to him, even during the darkest times. It didn’t matter if his dad was on heroin. Or if his mom was in prison. That’s his family, and he’s fiercely loyal. Which is why I didn’t tell him about Lizzie right away. I never wanted him to feel like his mother was being replaced. So I let a few months go by. I waited until things seemed very real, and I suggested that we all go to the science museum together. Lizzie was excited to finally meet him. And she was so patient with him. We let him lead us around to all his favorite exhibits. There was a musical staircase, and the two of them played a little tune together. Both of them were laughing, and the whole time I’m thinking: ‘This is really, really great.’ In one exhibit there was a huge, robotic space dude. He was like five stories tall. And if you typed a message on a screen, it would show up on his helmet. Red decided to write: ‘Lizzie.’ We had no idea he was doing it. He went off by himself, and suddenly her name appeared in huge letters. It was super sweet. I couldn’t believe how well they’d hit it off. And as we drove home that night, I couldn’t wait to ask him what he thought. As soon as we were back in our little spare bedroom, I said: ‘What do you think? Can we hang out again?’ He didn’t even take a second to think. He sat on the bed, crossed his arms, and gave me a stone cold: ‘No way.’” -- source link