#sidney crosby is like that weird neighborhood kid your mother used to make you go on playdates with
#sidney crosby is like that weird neighborhood kid your mother used to make you go on playdates with in middle school#and you were like uGH MOM#ALL HE EVER DOES IS TALK ABOUT WEIRD SHIT#AND MAGIC THE GATHERING#and she was like you shut your mouth and be nice to that boy#so you were like ‘okay fine idk wanna play uno?’#and he was like ‘ummmm i kind of just want to sit in this corner and do my own thing but like if YOU wanna play uno—’#’NO NEVERMIND FUCK YOU I DON’T WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU THIS IS MANDATORY.’#but then#flash forward#two decades#three#whatever#and you go home to visit your parents and there is this HAndsome Young Man standing in your driveway#holding flowers#that he picked from his own garden#for your mom#and you’re like ‘why are you giving flowers to my mom handsome stranger?’#and he says ‘oh hey haha it’s me sidney you probably don’t recognize me it’s been a while’#and your whole body seizes up and your teeth start aching and you realize you sort of have to pee even though you haven’t had water in 4 day#and then he walks away and you watch that booty go like—-#anyway later people ask you whether or not you’re attracted to sidney crosby and what you say is#DON’T YOU GET IT SIDNEY CROSBY IS A METAPHOR#a metaphor for what?#EXACTLY you say.#FOR WHAT.#EXACTLY.#long live seabiscuit#the nhl is for everybody.#i have given up goodbye. (ofgeography) -- source link
#sidney crosby