onceuponsirsstarrynight: Since I was a young child, I’ve found myself conflicted. I can vividly reme
onceuponsirsstarrynight: Since I was a young child, I’ve found myself conflicted. I can vividly remember as a young child – around eight years old – having fantasies of controlling women. Enslaving them, being worshiped by them. These fantasies existed far earlier than I ever gained an understanding of sex, that’s something that wouldn’t come until many years later. We could delve into the why, the psychology behind those desires, but that’s a discussion for another day. Today I simply want to stay high-level without getting too granular. One thing that I think most male dominants, or at least those who I know, have been mentored by, or have mentored myself, have struggled with, is duality. For me the struggle with duality has existed for as long as I can remember. How do I reconcile being both a gentleman who treats women with the utmost respect in public, while also being a man who has a predilection for humiliating them? How can I both support the scientifically valid rationale for never (ever) laying a hand on a child, yet consider domestic discipline to be ok? How can I be a feminist who believes in female empowerment, while also wanting to control them? These are really hard questions. They aren’t the hardest questions however, that’s something even more intense and more personal: What do these longings mean about me? Do they make me an inherently BAD person? These are the hard questions. Certainly society would likely think this makes me a worst person. I could lose my job. I mean, my desires aren’t just to playfully spank a woman, engage in some dirty talk, and have a lot of sex – no, even though I’m not a physical sadist of any notoriety, I’m a considerably darker sort of man. I’m tickled by the ideas of chaining, binding, caging, and locking women up. I find the notion of finding inventive ways to humiliate women to be phenomenally enjoyable. I get off on making really strong, powerful, independent women bend to my will, and worship me through it all. In fact, I don’t even derive joy from the taking of a lesser, or average woman. To me, there’s no sport in it. Do all of those things make me a bad person? Does seeking a certain sort of woman for myself conflict with my thoughts and beliefs on body-positivity, self-acceptance, and personal growth? For us as Dominant men, the need to understand these key driving factors is paramount. What are they, how do they leave us conflicted, and how can we justify them? More importantly, how do we build our own personal code of ethics and conduct that allow us to practice and enjoy our darker sides safely, sanely, and consensually? This will be a topic for tomorrow. For today, I just wanted to bring these conflicts to the forefront, to remind dominant men to be mindful of them. To ponder them, and the resulting meanings behind them. They matter. These are the things that, ultimately, begin the process of helping us define who and what we are. -- source link