littlealpacacutie:littlealpacacutie:This is a very important step in any regressors relationship
littlealpacacutie: littlealpacacutie: This is a very important step in any regressors relationship: letting your partner in to your world. These are tips that have worked for me. My husband was my best friend long before he became my caregiver and I have learned a lot in between. I will be using the term “little” in this post as it is the term I use for my regression. I am 100% nonsexual in my regression, so this is not a kink term in my usage. Words are VERY difficult and sometimes useless. When you finally decide to tell them that you regress, keep it extremely simple. You will be working against a LOT of preconceived ideas that media and online have put forth. These ideas may include: - your regression is a kink and/or sexual. Remember, age play is very prominent in pornography. Think the school girl outfit, pigtails and cheerleader uniforms - all common in pornography tropes. - regression is a sign of mental illness. I myself feared something was wrong with me, as I have been berated for my child-like views. Media, online and society stigmatizes not “acting your age”. - DD/lg is twenty times more known than regression. And it is (erroneously) linked with incest play, Daddy kinks and pedophilia. Whilst DD/lg is NONE of those things, your partner may think this is what you mean. KISS - Keep It Simple, Silly. I avoided any use of the terms “regress” or “little” at first. I, instead, simply said that I feel SAFE doing childhood things such as colouring. Go slow. I know the prospect of finally having a Daddy/Mommy/Big or CG is exciting, but they need to be kept safe, too. You need to keep a way out for them at all times. They have every right, at ANY TIME, to request to no longer be in the role of your CG. If you do not keep a way out of the role open, then they may feel that ending the relationship is the only way. Don’t make this your relationship! Unless you are lifestyle kinksters (18+ ONLY) living a DD/lg dynamic (in which case, I don’t think my list here will help you), your regression is not 24/7 so neither should your roles. Slowly SHOW them your regression and little side. After a careful explanation, offer them to watch you colour, or watch a movie together, something with a time span. I do not suggest to go deep into littlespace at this point, as they may have questions, but SHOW them! Let them see it’s safe, nonsexual and cute. Now, two possibilities arise from you telling them: - They say no - THIS IS OKAY! Do not panic! Do not end the relationship over this. Tell them you fully understand and then explain that this is who you are, and that nothing has altered. Plenty of littles have non-CG partners. It’s fine! - They say yes - YAY! But now the real work begins. If they agree and are 100% new at this, like mine was, take this slow. CGs can feel overwhelmed, especially if you dump them into the deep end. In business, we have what’s called vertical loading - basically adding new responsibilities as a person learns their role. It stops boredom in the job and also it stops the person from being overwhelmed. This works very well in this type of relationship. SHOW AND TELL! Show your CG how you like to dance, play, relax etc, and give verbal explanations. Dancing and saying “this song makes my tummy happy!” tells them everything they need to know. You need to teach them. Add new requests slowly. Don’t expect a huge tea party instantly. Wait for them to become comfortable before asking to have your food cut up, a puppet show or anything bigger. Let them not be a CG now and then. My hubby is still a 36 year old comic book artist. He’s still himself. He needs that space to be that, too. And enjoy your big space with them, too. Don’t use them for their CG side then bail. This is a RELATIONSHIP. Enjoy. Reblogging cuz I know Tumblr timing can push my stuff low on the feed, and I worked hard on this, so just reoffering my brain to y'all. -- source link