How do I change someone’s mind? How do I know if it’s my mind that need changing? With t
How do I change someone’s mind? How do I know if it’s my mind that need changing? With the presidential inauguration coming like a storm cloud and protests lining up around the country, it seems more important now than ever to learn how to influence ideas and understand my own. Calling people racist and stupid or elite and out of touch only exacerbates the divide. Studies show that insults breed contempt, and contempt closes off the ability to learn. And we keep doing it, sharing memes and vilifying individuals as if they are less complex than human. . I’ve been reading a lot about what makes people change. How do you expose prejudice when it’s disguised and woven into the benign everyday lives of citizens? How do you show the aggregate harm of a thousand tiny actions? Who’s straw broke the camels back when everyone threw theirs in the air? . How do you convince someone of your position if you don’t understand theirs? If you assume half of America is against you, you show up with weapons. And ‘when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.’ Even if someone wants to learn, you may smash them with a label or an insult and lose your chance. . I heard someone say that a great way to avoid contempt and 'conversation shutdown’ is to take a moment and be the other side’s lawyer. Say 'so tell me if I understand you right, you believe that…’ and make their case with all sincerity. No snark. No tone. Believe them and be them for a minute. When you do that, you not only gain trust from them but you empathize with them too. . Here’s where I’m at: I don’t want to demonize. I won’t disregard. I won’t fall into the trap of believing people are stupid. I won’t call the president-elect names. That’s what he does. I get it. But it’s lazy and it’s part of what got us here. . The saying goes 'I won’t die on this hill, the battle isn’t over.’ The hill of dignity, of respect for my fellow humans, of belief in the long slow work of progress… I will die here. -- source link