glam-pire:glam-pire:I took some reference photos for an artist tonight but mainly they were for
glam-pire: glam-pire: I took some reference photos for an artist tonight but mainly they were for me I look like a queen. and I really needed it, shit. things are a little bit more complicated than I could put into words and I feel a lot of things about it including a lot of shame and embarrassment for not looking after myself/my heart better but basically the boy I’ve been fucking and loving for 2+ years kept me a secret because of my body and the judgement he would supposedly face if he were seen with me when he let me think it was because of his religious Pakistani family. I never wanted a relationship, just great sex and friendship and intimacy. he gave me that, but I feel like he was so dishonest and I feel disgusted that I gave so much of myself and my love to someone so shallow and awful. I haven’t really wanted to talk about it. and I don’t really want to now. it makes me feel stupid and ugly and weak. but healing is a process and I’ll get there. in the meantime, look at me. I’m hot. time for a bit of reveling in self-love… reminders that I am strong and powerful and I will survive. I can see glimmers of a horizon. there’s a reason why all of this—so, so many things—have all culminated to this point. this is a great,necessary purge in my life and a great shift towards more peace, less self-loathing, and better living. -- source link