(5/8) “I called Lizzie after Red went to sleep. I didn’t tell her it was the end, but I think she co
(5/8) “I called Lizzie after Red went to sleep. I didn’t tell her it was the end, but I think she could tell it was heading in that direction. She was a little hurt that I was taking Red’s side. And she reminded me that we were the adults in the situation. But at the time I was thinking Red’s opinion is all that matters. Because this is all for him, right? He’s the reason I’m sober. He’s the reason I’m getting my life together. He’s the little carrot keeping me on track. And then there was the guilt. How could I ever make up for the first five years of his life? I felt like I owed him so much: more time, more attention, more of whatever he wanted. I told Lizzie that I didn’t think we could stay together. But she stayed the course, just like she always has. She said we’d work through it. ‘It was too soon,’ she said. ‘I just met him too soon.’ We let a few months go by before we tried again. I think our next hangout was at the zoo. Then we began to visit her place together. I’d be sure to prep Red in advance whenever we had an activity planned, so he’d never be caught off guard. So it would never seem like Lizzie was trying to take over. I was hopeful that a little time would do the trick. I thought: ‘If he could just see her like I do, then he’ll fall for her like I did.’ But it didn’t quite work that way. It was slow. One night I was talking to Lizzie on the phone, and he asked to say ‘hi.’ Then she started babysitting for him every once in a while. Lizzie kept pushing things along. She had this whole plan to move in together after she finished her degree. But I kept trying to slow things down. A lot of times I’d use Red as an excuse, but it was more than that. I still felt like I didn’t deserve her. I felt like the closer we got, the more she would know. And the less she would love me. But Lizzie stayed the course, because she’s Lizzie. And she was smart about it too. One day she brought Red along while she toured some townhouses near his school. And they chose a place together without even telling me. That night he came home all excited, and he’s telling me: ‘Let’s move, let’s move, let’s move!’” -- source link