I’ve opened up this little box to write you a note a handful of times in the past few weeks. I didn’
I’ve opened up this little box to write you a note a handful of times in the past few weeks. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. I wanted to talk about the planets or my family or how I’ve been going through everything and nothing at all here in Ottawa. . . And really, that’s what I want to talk about today. How much of nothing is happening here at my partner’s parent’s house. . . Because that’s the way it should be. A peaceful nothingness. . . I used to live waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn’t even understand that expression until recent years because my entire life experience had been doing exactly that and I just couldn’t see the irony in it because, to me, waiting for the other shoe to drop was life in a nut shell. . . There was always another shoe. And another. And another. . . I didn’t know that they were shoes, didn’t ask where they came from. The thing about shoes falling is it hurts less if your head is down and your back is braced for impact. So that’s how I lived. . . Later, I started to see where the shoes were coming from. There was one man in particular who was feeding shoes through a tennis ball launcher at 0.5sec apart. I unplugged his machine and disappeared from his reality. . . I started peeking up to see that there were others, too. Some I didn’t expect. Several in my family. Some where friends who held the shoe causally at their side. Maybe they wouldn’t drop it on me, but instead just hit me on the side of the head with it. . . I learned to avoid the people holding shoes. I figured out that feeling I’d get inside my gut, where I sensed someone had a shoe in their bag or their car. You know, saving it for later. I realized that if someone took out a shoe for someone else, who wasn’t me, that it was only a matter of time before they brought out a shoe for me too. . . Now, I’m barefoot in the grass. I still don’t really know where that saying came from, “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” but I do know that I’m not waiting to be abused anymore. . . I’ve let go of that outdated, harmful belief that bad-news is always coming down the pipes from heaven. Life can be like this. Really, bloody normal. . . Continues https://www.instagram.com/p/B2j30YvAkwo/?igshid=1wk5c98o4v6xz -- source link