paintakesthepainaway:Hello love, I want to apologize to you because you feel the need to read this.
paintakesthepainaway:Hello love, I want to apologize to you because you feel the need to read this. I’m entirely sorry that this messed up world has you suffering; you don’t deserve it. I know you, and I know that you believe this is some random post addressing a whole of people by someone who doesn’t understand. But love, this post is for YOU because even though you feel empty and hollow and invisible, know that I can see you as you look at your screen mildly uninterested. If I could reach through this screen hold your hand, sit you down and have a tear-filled heart-to-heart conversation that allows you to utter the words you keep contained and to let go of the fake smile for once, believe me, I would. I would hug you, for however long you need, but I would not tell you thinks like “it gets better” and “stop okay” simply because I hate it when those things are said to me. What I would tell you, is that I’m proud of you for still breathing while you’re being suffocated. I’m proud of you for waking up this morning when you didn’t want to. I’m proud of you for being alive right now, in this moment, when you wish you were dead. I wouldn’t tie your hands down and tell your parents so that you don’t kill yourself, because truly love, I’m in the exact same place as you. But I would tell you, to look into my eyes, and know that I understand, that for once someone isn’t judging you. I wouldn’t tell you “you’re better than this” and “c’mon you can do it” , but I would tell you that in this moment, here with just me and you, that you are alive and your hand is warm in mine, even though you feel so so cold. But love, I can’t see your face right now, and I can’t physically hold your hand, so instead I reach out to you virtually as a presence and one that you can’t see either, but know that I’m always there, whether it be within the air you breathe or the deepest forms of your mind. Talk to me love, please talk to me through your dark thoughts and your silent mouth. Tell me the stories you keep bottled up, tell me why you’re just breathing and why you force your smiles. I’m here to listen, and I’m here for you. Yes you. I see you and as much as you might not believe me, I understand. So take a minute and let me listen, tell me your life and tell me all the things you’ve never said before. My mind is dark too, my insides carved out, but maybe, just maybe, within the two of us, we can scrounge up some light and some fresh air. I’ve been empty for a long time too, love, and I know just how heavy of a burden that can be. And if you’re still reading this, feeling as dark and isolated as I am, I know there is a part of you that seeks that light and warmth again, even though you might not know who you are without your sadness. I understand that too, I stopped taking my anti-depressants because I didn’t know who I was with this fabricated light and easy smiles that didn’t feel like they belonged on my face. I missed the darkness because that was who I became and I know how it feels to seek the comfort of an empty world rather than the uncertain brightness of one you haven’t seen in forever. I know how scary it is to want to let go, but constantly telling yourself you can’t. I know the internal battle, believe me. I need you to know that, no matter what other people say, you are not a bad person for trying to kill your sadness, or trying to let it consume you. But I’m asking you, in this moment, even though you’ve been torn apart and cannot find your soul and even though you feel so overwhelmingly empty and so overwhelmingly heavy, to take a breath of me, and of my words. And love, though you can’t see me and though you cannot touch me, I am here. I am always here, in this moment you live in, not the past nor the future, but right now and as many more moments that you have…. I am here, and as are you. -- source link