“It started with a small white dot on my face. I didn’t think much of it, but then it started

“It started with a small white dot on my face. I didn’t think much of it, but then it started to happen on my lip. One day my mom looked at me, and said, “You have to stop sucking the color off of your lips.” I went to a dermatologist, and they said it was vitiligo. In middle school and high school, I got bullied a lot. People would say I “act white” or “talk white.” So when white spots developed on my skin, the jokes got really personal. This kid came up to me in the cafeteria and said, “Wow. You’re so white, God decided to finish the job.” I felt like I had zero control over my body and the way people saw me. I wouldn’t leave my bedroom without a full face of makeup. I would wear gloves, tights, and scarves, in Florida. I was a slave to people’s judgments of me. And that’s an intense word to use, but that’s what it was. I was not in control of my own self, or my own idea of who I was. When it began to spread a lot more, it was harder to hide. One day I said, “I think I’m going to go to work without makeup today.” I was terrified. But at work, everyone was like, “Oh my gosh. I’m so glad that you’re not wearing makeup.” After that, I didn’t wear makeup ever again. There are people who wear makeup because it’s fun. But the fact that people feel like they have to in order to be beautiful, that makes me sad. That used to be me. If I wasn’t so addicted to wearing makeup, not only could I have saved all that money, but how many years of my life did I waste thinking I was disgusting? When I stopped wearing it, I realized I could define who I am for myself, whether or not it fits somebody’s mold of what I ought to be. The person I am now wouldn’t be possible if not for the things I experienced because of vitiligo. It gave me a stronger sense of self.” -Jesi (@jesivtaylor) in our newest Dispelling Beauty Myths for Allure Watch the full video at Allure.com now! -- source link

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