fyjjong:(death tw, depression tw, suicide ideation tw, suicide tw) (171225) @xxteukxx (super junior’
fyjjong:(death tw, depression tw, suicide ideation tw, suicide tw) (171225) @xxteukxx (super junior’s leeteuk): .. nobody can say that they knew you well. there will be no one that will be able to say they were close with you and revealed everything with one. one person’s loneliness, anger, sadness … there is no real way to express that. [translator’s note: he means that it is impossible to feel anyone else’s pain, not that no one was close with him.] if the final choice was made, what is being said to people left, i think i will have to think about it a lot for the time being.my heart hurts more feeling apologetic that i couldn’t pull harder on the hand you reached out saying to hold onto it. it was too heavy of a weight to say it was endurable because you were a celebrity. to give up on one thing having come a long way, not being able to do this or that only hurts the heart even more.the day before sending you off you came in my dream telling me: “hyung, you have to be even happier”. that appearance of you laughing joyfully as you left is still fresh in my eyes. everybody faces trials, pain and suffering; however, their impact is immeasurable and the emotions that one feels in their own situation will be the most difficult and hard to bear.i also went through severe depression and, in the thought that it would just be better to die rather than to live and breathe. every day was difficult. in the army people would have just looked at me as if i was just putting on a show. those looks were even more hard fo rme. i went through close to one year of hard and difficult times. since i have been through this experience it would have been just a little better if there was just even the smallest of ways out …maybe because it’s christmas i’m feeling the deepness of the words “christmas miracle”. i can feel it is important to us to live happier from now. i pray everybody always spends their every day as a special day just like on christmas. (source: emzhaek) -- source link
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