blessedharlot: @needalittleoldfashioned I understand, and I really liked your insight about Nat’s ot
blessedharlot: @needalittleoldfashioned I understand, and I really liked your insight about Nat’s other line. And I appreciate the apology. I know that kind of default bitterness is really common in fandom. Youre nowhere near the only person using it. I just find it really deeply difficult to manage, and for me it easily leads into hopelessness and powerlessness and this feeling that we’re being held hostage by our stories. And I dont mean to like objectively criticize, because this language is obviously useful to a lot of y'all, I guess as a stress reliever? It just doesnt work for me. If theres this constant background attitude of “yeah were never gonna get anything good” then the joy just gets completely sucked out of it for me. This kind of saltiness is too much like dread and I dont do dread well. I refuse to dread my favorite stories. Like if I cant manage any other attitude about a story? I leave the fandom. Thats how far Ill personally go to not feel this way. Im too unforgiving and protective of my time to give it to creators I dont trust. Ive just left fandom spaces for years on end if I couldnt find a story that I felt was respectful of my time and my heart. Which has led to me feeling like a foreigner in most fandom spaces, because of at least half a dozen different dynamics like this one where I’m the odd person out. Which leads to me adding extensive analysis to random exchanges with other fans to try and sort out whats going on, like me rambling at you here, and again I’m not trying to single you out in particular. Its just been on my mind. Its a bigger dynamic than just our exchange. Yeah, I understand. In fandom, generally, I tend to veer towards negative expectations, because that way I usually end up pleasantly surprised, that’s just the way I, personally, deal with it.The interactions on tumblr make it hard to add thoughts or comments to things without altering the intent of the post, I didn’t mean to do that. I just don’t really know how to have a back and forth with people on this hellsite, which is why I generally don’t tend to talk to people on here. I should probably just go back to doing that. -- source link
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