californiacornbread:Are you tired of feeling down? Need a little lift? Is your life not going where
californiacornbread:Are you tired of feeling down? Need a little lift? Is your life not going where you want it to go? Well, the answer is much simpler than you may think. Drugs.How do you know drugs are going to solve your problems? Simple: They’ve been around forever. You can take that Adderall prescription and put it to good use. Oxycontin? Who takes those orally? They’re practically begging to be snorted. Or you can just count on the good ‘ole standby - cocaine.Problems in life suck. Solutions are hard to come by. Cutting yourself isn’t the solution. No one wants to hear you whine about your depression. Your therapist isn’t going to make your life more awesome. Only drugs can make your life more awesome. On drugs, you’re more likely to…Drive fast. And driving fast is amazing.Have unprotected sex. Because condoms suck.Play with guns. Boom! Guns are awesome.Beat up a stupid motherfucker. Because you’re stronger when you’re loaded.Drugs worked for me, and I know they’ll work for you too. Last night, I was feeling a little down. I was having troubles in my life. My friends let me down and didn’t give me any answers. Thankfully, drugs were there for me. Drugs won’t go and hang out with their girlfriend. Drugs don’t care if you take a shower or not. Drugs just want to be inside you.Do drugs. They work.Oh cool, so now you’re giving lectures on how to ruin one’s own life? Neat.Seriously, man. You know you’re hitting rock bottom, we know you’re hitting rock bottom, anyone with half a brain can see that. Why don’t you make it quick? Take that Glock you were bragging about and blow your brains out. Would save you a ton of embarrassment and us many facepalms. -- source link