a-lolitas-life: The Unfortunate but Common Misconceptions about DD/lg Relationships - ALolitasLife (
a-lolitas-life: The Unfortunate but Common Misconceptions about DD/lg Relationships - ALolitasLife (The reason I’m taking time to answer the “Isn’t DD/lg kinda like pedophilia?” question is that I can see by the recurrence of this and similar questions that it needs to be clarified for the sake of those in and out of the DD/lg community.) To start, this is no longer about preaching to rude and ignorant false claims about pedophilia being linked to DD/lg. It’s a matter of direct education and vital knowledge that needs to be found easily within the community (especially for those who do not understand its purpose). Some of you might think this is common sense, but I’m afraid it is not. There are too many outside the community (and perhaps within as well) who fear a common linkage to “Daddy Issues” and “Pedophilia” as the drives to explore Age Play and DD/lg dynamics. I’d like to personally (and in my humble opinion) clarify why these two “leave-a-bad-taste-in-your-mouth” words couldn’t be further from the truth. “Isn’t DD/lg kinda like pedophilia?” - In short, oh god no! No, no, no, no, no. A DD/lg dynamic is and always should be a connection between two consenting adults, and though this is common knowledge, this fact is something that is tossed aside when someone who doesn’t understand the relationship/role-play/age play feels confused about its purpose. This is the unfortunate misconception that seems to hover over the entire dynamic and it’s a nasty one. The key fact behind DD/lg that should always be made very clear is that Two (or more) Adults–ADULTS–are consenting to the play/relationship. That main point cannot be looked over. It really is the clear-cut boundary, and I, for one, want nothing to do with even the word pedophilia assigned to my kink. Once we get past that big obstacle on the road towards confusion, we should turn eyes to the real purpose behind interests in DD/lg and Age Play: For me, being little is all about letting go of adult responsibilities and stress to be able to give into an innocence that allows an exploration of vulnerability. It’s a special vulnerability like that which you find within a child. There are elements of carefree fun, desired security, a helpless need for guidance/discipline, childlike interests and play, importance of structure, and it’s really just endless possibilities from there. The vulnerability within my innocent play (my regression) is found in taking on the role of a different, younger, age. When I am in this headspace, I have a need for a “Daddy” role to protect and nurture my Little side. It’s too much of a big scary world out there for my Little side to feel alone. This has no linkage to “Daddy Issues” and is completely detached from such unfortunate assumptions. Enter, the other half of the dynamic, my caregiver (Daddy): strength, protection, nurturing, gentleness, a guiding hand that carries out discipline and structure. It’s a role that caters like a fitting puzzle piece to the vulnerability and innocence of a “Little.” I suppose the best explanation I can show to break that negative approach to “Daddy issues” is this: Would you say someone who likes to role-play as a kitten only makes sense if that person was attacked by a vicious kitten when she was a child and so this is how she must cope? Oh yes, that must be the only reasonable explanation. No, no, you’re misinformed! There are no strict reasons why some people have a regressive side. There isn’t a rule that says, “Oh you can only be a little if you have a horrendous relationship with your bio-father!” For me, those are the statements that make me really feel like being misinformed about the DD/lg dynamic can be dangerous. I know plenty of littles who have the most beautiful relationships with their parents, and it’s completely unlinked to why they’re interested in Age Play and DD/lg. I’m not saying there are no Littles who seek DD/lg to fill some missing part of their childhood, as I am one of them. But let me just stand up on my soapbox here and make it quite clear that I give absolutely ZERO credit to anything negative in my life for why I am the Little I am today. My DD/lg dynamic is nothing short of divine in my eyes and the credit goes to my Daddy and me finally finding the matching puzzle piece we’ve been looking for, forever. Putting a Number on your “age”: When it comes to picking an age for your little, it’s like deciding if you add a bow to a gift or not. It’s addressing an option for the age play. The number isn’t vital to the dynamic. It’s an optional detail that helps some (like me) define my role as a Little. It gives me direction. But having a number for your age isn’t another of those invisible “rules.” The more important side is my vulnerability and desire to let go in that headspace. This can be directly parallel to that of a Submissive or a Slave deep within “Subspace.” It’s a place that you melt into, and once you are there, you’re completely open and giving total trust and responsibility over to your Dominant. “Letting go” like that can lead you to the desire (and sometimes need) for a caregiver, a Daddy. The Daddy side of this dynamic is so FAR detached from anything related to pedophilia that though one may not MEAN to be offensive when they question your decisions to partake in age play, you simply DO offend. The role of a caregiver is a priceless one. Once again, it’s that desire to offer strength, protection, a guiding hand that carries out discipline, a role that caters to the vulnerability and innocence of a “Little,” and so much more. There is a trust and a protection within a Daddy that is always present. A Daddy’s attraction is NOT to a child, but to a childlike adult who needs that protective caregiver when (s)he is in her most vulnerable place. Gasp! That’s so Taboo! Now, when it comes to taboo play, the very best description I can offer is that it is role-play, just like dressing up for some kinky sex in a nurse costume. You dress, talk, play, and simply ARE a nurse when you’re role-playing. Is that offensive to nurses? Does that mean because you’re role-playing the part that you ARE a real life nurse? No, of course not. Age play is playing a different age. Doctor play is playing a doctor. Pet play is playing the role of a pet/animal. It’s role-play, a mindset, and the naughty play of consenting adults in and out of the bedroom. (And hey, if you think my taboo role-play is gross, well then, it’s a good thing you don’t have to be involved!) I know I am just one Little in a world of countless Littles to speak out about these misconceptions and assumptions about the lifestyle, but I still stand strong in my position about the need for this to someday be a concrete understanding. Education is always a step in the right direction. Don’t be afraid to share your knowledge with those who are ignorant of the dynamic. It’s an opportunity to share about its real purpose, about the innocence, about the mindset, about the roles, vulnerability, trust, protection, domination, submission, nurturing and most of all, love that is the true DD/lg Dynamic. Please take time to look over other views on this topic (as one opinion is never enough): http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex-and-relations… http://houseofdarkpassion.blogspot.com/2011/01/on-d… http://www.mindchaotica.com/2012/09/the-kinkster-ag… XoXo, Lolita -- source link