copperplatebeech:serbka:rnlaing: lastoneout: Op is denying us the fucking golden replies to this twe
copperplatebeech:serbka:rnlaing: lastoneout: Op is denying us the fucking golden replies to this tweet omg When i had breast reduction surgery, i got into the OR and got put on this table that looked like a flat crucifix (arms out so they could get to the girls), and i said ‘god, don’t nail me down’ they put the mask on my face and the nurse said ‘no jesus treatment today’ and the last thing i said to her was ‘jesus with some big ass titties’ and then passed out. when i had an appendectomy and woke up from anaesthesia i kept yelling at the doctor that i can’t breathe and the doctor was like “you’re literally breathing bro” and i stopped yelling and realized i am, indeed, breathing I had a spinal and happy juice for an open abdominal surgery, and while they were waiting for the pathologist to give the all clear I heard the surgeon ask her team if they knew any good jokes, so I told them the one about what Jonah said to the whale (”you wouldn’t shit me, would you”) and sang dirty versions of opera choruses until the anesthesiologist gave me “the hook.” -- source link