Warnings: Grief, divorce, miscarriage, trauma, domestic conflict. Really if you are easily triggered

Warnings: Grief, divorce, miscarriage, trauma, domestic conflict. Really if you are easily triggered please be very careful about this series. Rating: 18+Characters: Agent Whiskey x ReaderNote: Hello, as I am getting through writers block I would very much appreciate some reblogs and nice comments or anons to keep the spark of creativity burning. I appreciate you all! Also I am like 22 and never had a kid so I’ve been doing a lot of research but someone point out if it’s wrong and I’ll change it. Series Master List@scorpionerd  @just-here-for-the-moment @sherala007 @jediknight122 @pintsizemama @kenbechillin @elegantduckturtle @hearttbreak @tintinn16 @showbuckysomelove @somenerdyuser @kesskirata @ohyeasam @athalien @spideysimpossiblegirl @littlemisspascal @sheresh0y  @voteforpedro09 @greeneyedblondie44 @feel-it-on-the-way-home13 @harriedandharassed @jitterbugs927 The waiting room of the clinic was uncomfortably cold and far too quiet. Jack sat alone tapping his foot nervously and half reading a pamphlet that had been displayed on a table beside him. The idea of seeing you again made him feel…. Well, he didn’t know, but the feeling wasn’t good. The guilt he felt about what he had done had been with him almost every second of every day… and it only intensified when he had received that phone call. He had thought about reaching out to you several times, but he was sure nothing he could say would make things okay.Jack scratched at the side of his neck and adjusted in the chair. He glanced at the clock on the wall. You were five minutes late. Just when he thought you might not show up at all, the bell rang as the outside door swung open. Jack stood, taking the hat off his head and watching you sign in. With your denim shorts and over sized t-shirt, you didn’t look pregnant at all. As you turned and looked up, Jack gave you a small, friendly smile and gestured to the seat opposite of him. You did not return it. He sat when you did, the both of you facing each other, but you kept your gaze on the floor. Jack didn’t want to say anything that would upset you, and the conversation the two of you really needed to have couldn’t happen here. “How are you feeling?” He asked. You just shook your head and gave a shrug. He nodded. Jack had remembered how hard it was for you the last time. The hours spent in bed or laying on the bathroom floor. His heart ached for you then, just as it did now. Worse though, because he wasn’t there to help this time. A nurse appeared in the waiting room. She was holding a clipboard. “Mrs. Daniels?”Jack winced. So you hadn’t changed your last name…“I’ll have them call you in when we’re ready to do the ultrasound,” you said, turning and following the nurse inside. Jack drew in a deep breath as soon as you were out of sight, suddenly aware of how hard his heart was beating in his chest. The phone in his pocket buzzed. He used it as an excuse to get some air outside. The humid July air engulfed him as soon as he stepped through the doors and onto the front sidewalk of the building. He reached into his pocket, noticing the caller ID before sighing and bringing the phone to his ear. “Hey there sweet pea?”“Jack?” Emily’s voice came through the line. “Where are you?”“I’m still at the appointment-”“When will you be back?” She asked.He could hear the urgency in her voice. Adjusting to this new world had been a challenge for Emily, to say the very least. Statesman had forged a birth certificate and all the necessary documents that would give her a new identity under the law. He and Emily had only lived in that house a month before she was shot, and most of the townsfolk who had been around twenty years ago had left or passed away. As far as everybody in town was concerned, she was a brand new resident. That still didn’t ease the fact that from her perspective, the world had changed completely overnight. Jack kicked up dust with his boot. "Not for a while, sweetie. Why don’t you take the card I gave you and head into town, buy yourself something pretty.  They got a mighty fine shopping center in the next town over.”Emily hesitated, “Okay.”“I’ll call you when I’m done.”She sighed. “Yeah okay.”“I love you,” he said.“I love you too,” she responded before hanging up. He made his way back into the room, waiting another ten minutes before the nurse called his name. She escorted him back through the rooms of the clinic, remembering the last time he had been here with shocking clarity. That had been one of the very worst days of his life. He knew it was for you, too. Jack hadn’t thought of the baby once since you had called him. His mind wouldn’t let him. He did not have any feelings for this child either way. He only cared about what was tangible at that moment. Your pregnancy was an immediate fact….not a promise of a future. If something happened, he couldn’t grieve like that again, not a third time. The nurse opened the door. You were on the table with your t-shirt pulled up to your rib cage and a blanket placed around your hips. Jack averted his eyes, getting the distinct feeling that he wasn’t wanted there…. he couldn’t blame you for it. He took a seat in the chair next to you, hands running over the denim of his jeans. As soon as the nurse touched the ultrasound device to your stomach, the television screen in front of you lit up with a black and white static that took on various abstract shapes. Jack glanced up at your face. There was absolutely nothing behind your eyes as you looked at the screen. He wasn’t sure what to make of it, but a new twinge of guilt ebbed its way through his chest anyway. The ultrasound technician spoke and pointed to the screen. "That’s the baby’s head, and their eyes, nose. Here’s the heartbeat, nice and strong, as you can see on the screen.” Jack heard you let out a soft breath.The ultrasound technician moved the device to the opposite side of your stomach. “Would you like to know the sex?”“Yes,” you said.“It’s a girl.” “Is she… okay?” You asked in a voice barely above a whisper.The nurse looked at you with a smile and nodded. The ultrasound didn’t last long and soon the two of you were in a room alone together.“Thank you for letting me be here,” Jack said, trying to find some way to break the silence. You simply nodded as you wiped the ultrasound jelly off your stomach. After a few minutes, the doctor came in. He was new to the practice,  older gentleman, with tiny eyes that hid behind large glasses and a patch of white hair wrapping around the lower part of his head.“So,” the doctor said, taking a seat on the roller stool, “my name is doctor Ballard. I know the two of you were patients here before. Is that correct?”You nodded. “But you had a miscarriage?” He asked. You nodded again.“How far along?” he asked. You paused for a moment,  “nineteen weeks.” Jack drew in a deep breath, fighting hard to keep those memories at bay. Everything about that day was a total blur, from the clinic to the hospital…. thinking about it made him feel sick. He had thought he processed it, but it was very clear he hadn’t.The doctor nodded “while rather uncommon, late stage miscarriages happen in about two percent of pregnancies. They found no cause?”“No,” you said. “Well, the good news is, most couples go on to have very healthy and successful pregnancies after. By my estimates you are around twenty-two weeks. With all that being said because of your history, this will be treated as a high-risk pregnancy. Now, I understand this is your first appointment. Why is that?” The doctor asked, looking at you.Jack narrowed his eyes at the man. Something about him was off-putting. Maybe it was the way he spoke with no emotion in his voice or maybe it was his matter of fact questioning, but Jack didn’t like him. You stuttered for a moment, “I-I don’t know.”“Do you want to have a healthy baby?” The doctor asked. “Yes,” you responded. “Then you need to come to all your visits and do everything I say for the duration of the pregnancy, do you understand?”Jack loathed the way he spoke down to you. “Yes,” you respond, clearly off put yourself.“Now you have been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum in the past?”“Yes,” you said again. “Your weight currently is cause for concern. You are severely underweight for this stage of the pregnancy. Considering that fact, and that you are a high-risk case, one option I propose is to put you on different oral medication to lessen the vomiting and a nasogastric feeding tube, until we get your weight to a stable place. Some women find symptoms improve by twenty weeks, so it is possible we can remove the tube at a later time.”Jack raised his eyebrowsYou hesitated. “I would rather not have that… I mean, I would at least want to try to put the weight on myself.”The doctor looked annoyed. “Mrs, I don’t-”Jack spoke up. "We’ll see you in two weeks. If she’s still losing, we can talk about it.”The doctor pressed his lips into a thin line, and sighed, getting up from the stool. “Very well, I’ll see you in two weeks. I expect to see things looking better than they do now.” with that the doctor left the room.Jack left the room, allowing you to get dressed and waited for you at the receptionist’s desk to book a followup appointment. The receptionist looked through the calendar on her computer. "We can do exactly two weeks from now if you’d like.”“What doctor would that be with?” Jack asked.“Dr. Ballard,” she responded.Jack glanced over at you. "Is there anyone else we could see?”The receptionist shook her head. “The two other doctors here aren’t taking any new patients.”‘I wonder why’, Jack thought bitterly.“We’ll take the Wednesday appointment,” you said.“Are you sure?” Jack asked.“It’s the only place in network,” you responded. Without his insurance, Jack wasn’t even sure what type you were on… state funded most likely. “I’ll pay,” Jack argued.You shook your head, let the receptionist book the appointment, and headed for the outside. Jack walked behind you. Immediately, you went to sit on a bench that was outside of the building. He stood awkwardly, looking around, not wanting to leave just yet.“So,” he said, adjusting the hat on his head. “I think maybe we should, uh, talk about things, if that’s alright?” When you didn’t respond, he looked around. The only car in the lot was his. “Are you waiting for a ride?”You pointed to the bus stop across the street “I can drive you, if you’d like?” he offered. Jack watched you think it over a moment, then stand. He walked with you to his truck and opened the passenger side door to allow you to hop in. Then he went around to the driver’s side and took a seat behind the wheel. “What happened to your car?” He asked.“Transmission”, you responded. “Take a left out of the lot.”Jack nodded. “I can get someone to take a look at it for you.”You shrugged, “I can hardly drive anymore as it is.”“If you ever need anything, I wouldn’t mind helping out - ya know, picking things up or carting you around.” You shook your head, leaning against the back of the seat and looking idly out the window. Jack cleared his throat. "So, um - I guess we should talk about things so we can, ya know, figure this out. First, I want to apologize for -”“Stop Jackson,” you said, cutting him off. “Just stop.”Jack was taken aback. "Ever since it happened I’ve been… I know there ain’t nothing I can do that would make up for it. I just I want you to know that I regret -”“The slap or the affair?” you askedJack winced “I regret the way it all happened. I should have never, ever touched you the way I did. I think about it every day and there aren’t any words to convey how sorry-”You turned to look at him now. “I could have left town and you would have never known. I could have had her and told her I didn’t know who you were. Raised her all by myself and you would have never gotten the privilege of meeting her.”“I know,” Jack said in an apologetic voice. “That was what you deserved.” “I know,” Jack said again.“Until this baby is born, you have no right over her, none. You get to be here because I allow you to. You get to see the scans because I allow you to, not because you have any amount of  say in anything that goes on from here until December. Do you understand?”“Yes, I do.” “And if you ever raise a hand to me again, I will take her and leave and you will never be able to see her, I promise you.” Jack could tell by the tone in your voice that you were deadly serious. “It will not happen again.”“And you need to go to therapy to figure your shit out before she comes.” Jack nodded. “I agree.”“And we should do family counseling before we start talking about custody and finances.” He nodded again. Silence filled the car after that, so did an overwhelming feeling of loss. The day was so hot not even the June bugs could be heard singing. It seemed like every living thing was in their burrows waiting until sunset. -- source link

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