Jolly Nourishing Fried Potatoes, from Guards! Guards! by Sir Terry Pratchett!Ah yes, the standard En

Jolly Nourishing Fried Potatoes, from Guards! Guards! by Sir Terry Pratchett!Ah yes, the standard English fried tater. I’ve gone long enough without a proper ode to it, which is a crying shame considering that its ubiquity. You can also see the exact moment when Lady Sybil won over Sam Vimes, which is exactly when she came out with a plate full of hot taters:‘I’ve brought you something jolly nourishing.’Somehow Vimes imagined it would be soup. Instead it was a plate stacked high with bacon, fried potatoes, and eggs. He could hear his arteries panic just by looking at it.‘I’ve made a bread pudding, too,’ said Lady Ramkin, slightly sheepishly. 'I don’t normally cook much, just for myself. You know how it is, catering for one.’Now, this is not your standard fried potato recipe. It produces no pesky burning oil smell. It does not smoke up your hair. It doesn’t even spatter. It is a quiet, tame creature of a recipe, one that requires perhaps a gentler touch with a silicone spatula rather than a brisk jostle with a frying basket, but it DOESN’T SPATTER. All right, it can take up to an hour. All right, it works best on somewhat fatter cuts of potato, so unless you have delicate praying mantis hands, you will have to settle for potato wedges rather than fries. But it DOESN’T SPATTER.I do recommend using a stainless steel pot, NOT a heavy-bottomed one. I tried both, and honestly the stainless steel pot cooked faster and held its temperature better. Because the oil never gets super hot, you don’t really need the heavy-bottomed assurance anyway. Hell, the oil isn’t even browned and hideous at the end - you can absolutely reuse the oil after this, which makes it a much more economical option than regular frying. You will also need a pair of metal tongs for the final potato removal. I also cannot stress how important it is to stir your fries GENTLY. Yes, some of them may stick to the bottom or each other. BE GENTLE NONETHELESS. They will come apart with enough probing. You also don’t want to splash yourself, and this oil can still burn you dreadfully. I scraped mine off the bottom with my silicone spatula after carefully feeling around the circumference of the stuck tater and unsticking it. Timing this for a regular meal is also quite tough. With different potato sizes, pot sizes, and oven styles, it can be hard to predict when exactly this will be finished, especially if you’re making it as a side dish to something else. Practice this first before attempting it for a normal dinner. This recipe can take up to an hour.This serves one, and fits exactly one regular soup pot. Scale up as you need. I do not recommend stacking the potatoes more than two layers deep, because you absolutely DO NOT want to risk any hot oil splashing over the side.INGREDIENTS 2 medium red potatoes, unpeeled, washed and slicedVegetable oilSalt to tasteMETHODPlace paper towels on a plate.Layer potatoes into a stainless steel pot. Pour enough oil to cover.Gently shake pot so the oil can get under the potatoes. Put pot over medium heat.Stir every 10 minutes. When oil starts to bubble, set heat to medium low. Continue stirring every 10 minutes.When potatoes start to brown (see picture), they will be crisp enough to pick out with metal tongs.Place fries onto paper towel plate, making sure not to crowd the fries. Sprinkle with salt if desired.Give it a minute or so, then eat!Voila! Hot, crispy potatoes with a steamy tender interior, served fresh. There’s nothing better. There’s nothing easier. And best of all - I’m not covered in third degree burns! Except the inside of my mouth, because I can’t give it a goddamn minute jesus christ -- source link

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