face-down-asgard-up: abaldwin360: missworded: Here is a Science fair project presented by a girl nam
face-down-asgard-up:abaldwin360:missworded:Here is a Science fair project presented by a girl named Meme Gullible in a secondary school in Bullshittia. In it she took $40 and divided it into two parts. The first part she used to buy disease-ridden sludge at Burger McPalace. The second, to buy healthy magic food at Chris Traeger’s Literally the Healthiest Food on the Planet Emporium.Then she poured heated water on both of them for some reason. On the magic carrots and fiber bars, she used expensive bottled water boiled in a TV Chef Brand pan on the stove. On the Burger McPalace offering (the Deluxe Poor People with Cheese) she used water boiled in a microwave, or Satan’s Oven as they are commonly known.Meme read a half a chapter of science one time, so she thought that the structure or energy of water may be compromised by a microwave. As it turned out, even she was amazed at how many people will read idiot things.It has been known for years by your strange Uncle Welber that the problem with microwaved anything is not how it signals evil aliens in space, it’s how it corrupts the DNA in the food so the body says, “WTF, bitch? Are you eating Legos? I’ma die now, thx.”That is why, when you take the “meat” made at Burger McPalace and then douse it in radioactive microwave ScareWaves ™ and then eat it, you turn into the Incredible Hulk.So, asshole, take your $20 and buy some fucking lettuce. Lettuce will cure all your imaginary problems, like hunger and homelessness. Plus, when you eat leafy greens from Chris Traeger’s Literally the Healthiest Food on the Planet Emporium and then douse it in pan-boiled unicorn tears, you become Captain America.I am in tears. -- source link