This is a re-written post of my fictional account of Stan and Ollie coming home from their first Eur

This is a re-written post of my fictional account of Stan and Ollie coming home from their first European Tour in 1932. I re-wrote it after learning that the Georgia Military College was not as devastating to a young child as I thought and maybe was helpful in Ollie being the agile, athletic portly fellow he was. The school was the closest school for residents of Milledgeville. It had an elementary school and it was co-ed.I will be deleting the other soon. The only time Hardy did not attend this school was the short time after his mother married her last husband, CF Jackson. This man was mysterious and did seem to disappear. Pictured above is Laurel & Hardy, Larry Semon, Frank ‘Fatty” Alexander, Hughie Mack, Myrtle Reeves Hardy and Viola Morse.Stan and Babe are in Stan’s suite on the S.S. Paris on the way home from their European Vacation/Tour. Babe’s wife Myrtle is having a spa treatment and Stan invited Babe over to have breakfast with him in his suite. Both are in underwear with silk robes on over them. They have finished breakfast and Babe is sipping on a Bloody Mary. Stan is lounging on the bed with an empty cup of coffee. Babe is sitting on the edge of a settee in the room with his robe opened and legs spread.Stan: It’ll be nice to get home. That wasn’t exactly the vacation I had in mind.Babe: Me neither. It was exhausting. But the people. All over. They love us. Could you ever imagine we’d            ever be this loved? Stan: No I didn’t.  I don’t think Charlie Chaplin would ever get that kind of reception.Babe: Are you still in competition with Chaplin? We’re Laurel and Hardy. Everybody loves Laurel and Hardy. I’m glad you thought to invite me over while Myrtle is having a spa day. We get so little time to be just you and me.Stan: Isn’t it funny how so many people think we are a real couple? I mean they think we really live and sleep together.Babe: (finishes his drink, stands up, removes his robe, and scoots over to Stan on the bed with a big grin.) And they’re so disappointed when we tell them we don’t. (and pokes Stan in the gut) That’s so funny. Scoot over. (Stan is propped up on some pillows and Babe lies down in front of him. Facing him.Stan: I wish everybody thought that way. Maybe it’s just that way in Europe.Babe: No, it’s in America too. A lot of the fan mail I get assumes we live together.Stan: But if we were a couple, I’m sure some church groups would condemn us. You know Hal Roach and MGM make sure people know we are two married men.Babe: Would two married men do this? (He grabs Stan by the head and starts kissing his face all over, finishing on the lips.)Stan: Ha-Ha. (looking at Babe with familiar love) What has gotten into you? You’re so giddy today.Babe: It’s you.  I think. I’m happy right now. Even Myrtle can’t get me down now.Stan: You’ve shown me some of the greeting cards you give her. You write some very flowery prose. You’re very romantic.Babe: I try. But I can’t please her in bed like most men could.Stan: Why is that?Babe: Well. My penis isn’t very big. I think you might even say it’s very small. Here look. (Babe pops off the bed and pulls down his boxers.)Stan: Where is it?Babe: It’s there. Just hiding in my fat. (Babe reaches down presses in the fat around the penis and it pops out.) There. Hello Stanley. (He waves it at Stan.)Stan: Oh, you are small.(Babe pulls his boxers back up and comes around the bed and gets in behind him and puts his arm around Stan’s waist.)Babe: See? (pressing up against Stan’s backside).  Can you imagine me fucking her with that? You wonder why I’ve never had children?Stan: If you try real hard. You might make it happen.Babe: What’s funny is, that’s how Madelyn (Saloshin-first wife) got me to marry her.Stan: How do you mean?Babe: She told me she was pregnant, and the baby could only be mine.Stan: And you believed her?Babe: I was young and horny. It was the first time I had sex. I couldn’t stay in her and I basically came outside of her vagina. I pushed in again, so I thought maybe that’s what did it. I wasn’t sure so I asked my Mama if it could be.Stan: You asked your Mother?Babe: I had nobody else to ask. And my Mother knew my penis was small. Mama was sure Madelyn was lying. So I believed she was lying, but how could I be entirely sure. Madelyn said we had to be married before she started showing as to protect her reputation. She then said she could help me with my career. We could move to Jacksonville (from Atlanta) and I could find a job at one of the studios down there. And since she had ties in the entertainment world, she could get me in.Stan: Is that how you got in the movies?Babe: Kind of. It turns out she wasn’t pregnant and said she miscarried the baby soon after we married. Mama was livid. She called me a fool and a sucker for marrying her. I couldn’t even bring Madelyn home to meet her. It turned out Madelyn’s ties to entertainment didn’t help much in getting me a job. It was my constantly bugging the studios, my agility and Fatty Arbuckle getting popular that got me the job. I do credit her with getting me to Jacksonville and making me choose my own nickname, so the studios wouldn’t call me Fatty. Kids used to tease and taunt me with Fatty and I didn’t want to be known as Fatty Hardy for the rest of my life.Stan: I thought an Italian barber gave you the nickname?Babe: VIM or King Bee or Vitagraph. I can’t remember what stories came from which studio. I never attended College either. I’m not smart enough.Stan: Were you angry that she tricked you?Babe realized he is opening up about stuff he never told Stan before, maybe it was because he was holding him in his arms.Babe: Of course. I was mad. But there was another reason I married her and it was probably the most important to me.Stan: What was that?Babe: She..I..Babe didn’t believe he was going to tell Stan his big secret. But this is what he wanted to do, so he pressed on.Babe: She caught me giving a blowjob to the stage manager of the theater in Atlanta in the dressing room.Stan: What?Stan, who was feeling very cozy and comfortable cuddling in Babe’s arms suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable. Only slightly though and he relaxed again, wondering where this was leading, excitedly. Babe: You heard me right. But she never threatened to tell anyone about it. What she did do was let me continue seeing men sexually while we were married. I couldn’t see other women, but I could see men as long as she didn’t know about it. She didn’t consider men as threats. I couldn’t leave her for a man.Stan: This wasn’t a one-time thing?Babe: No. I like the company of men as well as women. She didn’t feel the men were a threat. Afterall in showbiz it’s fairly common. I wasn’t even a good catch back then. All I had was ambition and a good singing voice and that couldn’t help me get into pictures. She just wanted to get married before she got too old just so she wouldn’t be an old maid. She did make it hard for me to meet with men or other women. I worked during the day at Lubin and I worked at the Hotel Cabaret she worked at during the evenings.Stan: She sounds a lot like Mae, my first wife. Was she trying to control you?Babe: Looking back on it now. I’d say yes. But I had lots of opportunity with both men and women at the studio. I kept my bargain with the women, but fooled around with almost all the other actors. Stan is wondering now. Why hasn’t he seen this side of Babe before?Babe: It wasn’t until Lubin closed in Jacksonville and I was making pictures in New York that I started to see other women. I couldn’t hide that from her. She smelled perfume on me where she shouldn’t have. She seemed to know everything. She always guessed right when she saw me on screen with an actress I liked a lot. We fought a lot in New York. That ended when I came back to Jacksonville in 1916. Those were the best days for my young career. I co-starred as Plump in the Plump and Runt comedies. Stan: Did you write those?Babe: I contributed ideas when I thought I had a good one.Stan: Everybody in this business wrote their own material back then. Nobody was helping me. Why were you special?Babe: Because we were a Jacksonville studio and the VIM group was all about sharing ideas and putting out the best product we could so we could compete with Hollywood. And Louis Burstein liked me and was still trying to make me into Fatty Arbuckle. It didn’t hurt that I was willing to get on my knees. Now where was I? VIM failed after one year and Louis started King Bee. He gave up on the Fatty Arbuckle idea a told me that if I lost some weight, he would keep me as a foil to Billy West, the Charlie Chaplin imitator. He wanted me to be big, but not roly-poly. Stan: You were fatter at one time?Babe: I was fatter much of my life. I had to go on a strict diet and start exercising just to get down to a weight where I could look husky. Then we came to New York again as part of the King Bee company. Madelyn watched me like a hawk. Since I couldn’t see women, I got bold about finding men. I went to underground clubs the showbiz people would frequent and Madelyn would always come with me and sit with a miserable look on her face. I would chat with the guys and ignore the girls so she wouldn’t get upset. The problem was that guys saw me with my wife and thought I wasn’t interested in sex with them. One time I agreed to go back to a guy’s apartment to see his “artwork” and Madelyn would go home knowing what I was doing. He was very macho and I was a little bit afraid of him, but I was in lust. Once we got to his place, all he did was show me his art. It was a one room apartment, so we sat on the bed. I laid back, but he ignored me and continued talking about his art, show me his work and how he wanted to get into a Broadway play. Then I turned to my side and put my leg up on the baseboard of the bed and basically had my ass in his face.Stan: That’s a hard ass to miss. He didn’t get the hint?Babe: He got up and (incredulously) started cleaning his apartment. I never got fucked up til then, but with him, I was thinking about it. I would usually lay together naked with the guy, kiss and neck and exchange blowjobs.Stan: Why didn’t you just tell him?Babe: I wasn’t sure about him and like I said I was a bit afraid of him. I felt I was wasting my time at this point and got up to make my exit when he stops me and says that he was sorry, but he heard I was a top. I thought he was a top.Stan: That’s funny. He didn’t give you any clues?Babe: No. A guy like that needs to. Stan: Hmm.Babe: Well Hollywood was the place to be and King Bee eventually moved to Hollywood. Madelyn really resisted us moving to Hollywood, but she had no choice because my career was bringing in more money than hers now.Stan: Go on. I’m very interested. (Stan was enjoying listening to Babe talk about himself)Babe: Hollywood was very different from the East coast. I had a lot to learn. For one thing the Hollywood tabloids scared me. I was afraid my career would end if I misbehaved with men. I didn’t know who I could trust. So I swore off men. One thing I did realize was that it was time for me to split with Madelyn. But Madelyn refused to divorce me, so that was a long process. After King Bee closed, I freelanced for a while until 1919 when I signed on with Vitagraph to be the Heavy for Jimmy Aubrey.Stan: Jimmy’s a friend of mine from Karno. (Comedy Troup from England)Babe: I can imagine what he told you about me. If he mentioned me at all. I think he saw me as a threat.Stan: He said you were very good, but you would steal scenes from him. You didn’t know when you shouldn’t be funny.Babe: As he would tell me often.Stan: When I came to Roach I saw that you were on the team and I was afraid they would put me with you. I was still trying to build a solo career. Hal said we would be perfect together. I wasn’t seeing it that way. I had some very funny pictures with Joe Rock. But Hal called them garbage and said I needed a fresh start.Babe: (playfully nibbles at his ear) And I ruined your life for good. Anyway, I met Myrtle during this time. She was from back home in Georgia. I met her at a private party just before prohibition started and she and her sister were so much fun for me. It was like I was back home with my little girlfriends in Georgia. I told her everything about me. Everything. And she didn’t bat an eye. I told that I probably wouldn’t give her any children and I told her how frustrated I was with my marriage and the deal that I had with Madelyn. Myrtle offered the same deal to me. That is if I ever wanted to marry her. I even moved in with them before my divorce was final. That kind of scandal was good for my career. Anyway, at Vitagraph, I met Larry Semon. Stan: Larry Semon. I worked with him.Babe: Yes, it turns out he liked to fuck men.Stan: That doesn’t surprise me. I swore he and Frank Alexander were doing something.Babe: They were. He said he couldn’t come by masturbating or blowjobs. He could only come in an ass or a pussy. And I think he preferred the men’s asses, big men’s asses. I may have been a little small for him. He was fucking Hughie Mack. And when Hughie Mack left Vitagraph, it was Frank.Stan: They were both a lot bigger than you.Babe: Yeah, but he wanted me too. Larry was always horny and he was generously endowed. He was constantly fucking. Men and women.Stan: And you let him? It may have been his imagination but he thought he could feel Babe’s little penis get hard just talking about Larry Semon fucking him.Babe: He definitely wasn’t my type, but he was smooth as a salesman. He knew who to trust and who not to and never had a scare with the tabloids. So he talked me into letting him fuck me.Stan: How did you know you wanted to do that?Babe: Well, the first time. I’ve never, ever told anybody this. The first time I was raped.Stan: Oh my God.Babe: Yes, my Mom worked hard running a hotel and she appreciated all the help she could get. I think I was 12 years old and this guy was always hanging around. He would do repairs around the hotel. He painted and sometimes I would help him. I didn’t pay much attention, but he was always bugging my sister Emmie. I think he may have raped her too. One night, there was a big fight going on between him and my Mama. Then all of a sudden my Mama was marrying him and my sister married and moved to Philadelphia. That left me and Henry in the house. He let Henry be because Henry could lick him for sure. But he was always picking on me. I don’t even know his name. Just initials, CF. We called him CF. Maybe it meant child fucker. Jackson was his last name. He insisted that I call him Dad. I never did and he beat me more than once for that. At night he would come to my room and jerk me off while I sucked him off. He made me promise not to tell Mama and I didn’t. I was confused. Getting jerked off felt good. Then one night he wanted to show me something new and got on top of me in the bed, pulled up my nightgown and forced himself in me. I yelled loud enough for Mama to hear and she came into the room screaming. CF pushed his way past her and she got me and held me and promised he would never hurt me again. Soon after, she sent me away to Young Harris Academy in the Georgia Mountains where I lived at the school. When I came home again, CF was gone. I never saw him again. I still think Mama killed him and buried him in the basement. I tried to find the body but found nothing. I asked Henry if he killed him, but he just laughed and said he wished he did. Stan: Turn around. It’s my turn to hold you.Babe was reluctant. But relented and let go of Stan and flipped over. Stan turned around and put his arm around Babe, who held Stan’s hand around him. Stan: There. That’s better. Are you okay?Babe: Oh yeah. I got over that a long time ago. I never did ask my Mama why she married the guy. I assume it was some sort of deal for him to let Emmie go and marry a man her age. Stan: Where were we? Oh yes. So you let Larry bugger you?Babe: Bugger he did. And I enjoyed it. Larry wasn’t afraid of the tabloids but he did urge me to get married as soon as my divorce went through. Eventually Larry signed me away from Jimmy and we continued on. Frank too. Sometimes the three of us would get in bed and Larry would fuck one of us and Frank and I would get each other off, while Larry built up another load for the other.Stan: I’ve lead such a sheltered life. What about Myrtle? Does she know?Babe: Oh heavens no. I can’t have regular sex with her. I imagine she doesn’t want to hear that I’m getting fucked. But the sex Myrtle and I have is great. I make up for it by being romantic. When we are intimate, that is, when I am home. I lower the lights and she puts on sexy lingerie that I get for her and I wear my silk robe and smoke a pipe. Then I ravage her body with my mouth a tongue. All over. I have become quite the expert at making her come with my tongue. I feel guilty that I’m not home often. I think she drinks because I am not and she fills her time with alcohol. Larry took up a lot of my time, introducing me to golf and the racetrack, as well as the sex. And when I went to Tijuana on weekends, I used Larry as an excuse.Stan: What do you do now that Larry is no longer with us?Babe: I was devastated when I heard the news. We were working and one of the guys let us know at lunchbreak. We were doing the picture where we were wearing each other’s pants and couldn’t switch them without getting caught.Stan: LibertyBabe: Is that it? Is that what it’s called? Anyway, I’m glad we weren’t doing the scenes up on that building that day. I might’ve fallen. I went home and I cried that night. Let me up, I’ve got to pee.Stan: (Stan holds him down) Promise me you’ll come back in this position.Babe: I want you back the other way.Stan releases him and flips over as Babe runs to the bathroom and comes back shortly getting back in behind Stan.Babe: Now where were we? Oh, Larry died. I was hoping and believing that the rumors about Larry faking his death to beat his debts were true. Can a person die of pneumonia because he had a nervous breakdown or was depressed? I don’t know. But I thought something was fishy. I couldn’t find anybody who saw the body other than his wife Dorothy and she stood to gain by his death too. He was shipped off to Philadelphia for the funeral. I really thought I’d get a message from him asking me to go to a spot in Mexico on a certain day at a certain time. But nothing like that ever happened.Stan: That was a few years ago. Has anybody taken his place? (Stan asked, hoping he’d say no.)Babe: That’s where Viola comes in. I’m sure you’ve heard about her from the tabloids. Myrtle waves those in my face every time I’m the latest news.Stan: And she buggers you?Babe: No, haha. Actually I met her through Larry at the track and she knew what went on with us and she reached out to me and told me she knew someone who could replace Larry for me.  So now Viola and I go to the track. People leave me alone with her, we have lunch, have fun then we go back to the hotel and meet up with Hernando. He’s a sexy, young Mexican. He’s got a big cock and knows how to use it. He will fuck both me and Viola. I just have to tip the both of them.Stan: That must get expensive. Babe: Yes, it does. I tell Myrtle I’m losing money through gambling on the ponies. But actually, I’m doing much less gambling now. I can’t afford it.Stan: I have a confession to make too.Babe: What’s that Stanley?Stan: I like women. I like strong-willed women. Women who will fight with me. But I’ve entertained the thoughts of loving a man. But for me, I can’t do what you do. There has to be emotional attachment. I don’t even know what I would do sexually. But my time just lying in bed with you has been nice and I’ve been hard the whole time.Babe: I thought I felt something poking me.Stan: I used to dream about doing pictures with Mae. She would boss me around and I would be the hen-pecked husband, never good enough to make her happy. I never sorted it out. But when I teamed up with you, I used the same idea. You played Mae’s part. It worked a lot better with you. Babe, I’ve got that emotional attachment to you and I think I love you more than Lois (current wife).Babe: Stanley, are you asking me to marry you?Stan: (surprised and embarrassed) Oh no, nothing like that. I just want you to know that if we could, I would. Our careers would be ruined, but I think I’d be happy for the rest of my life.Babe: I suspect you’re right about it ruining our careers. But if you want to play with me right now, I’m willing to teach you a few things..PHONE RINGSBabe: That must be Myrtle back to our room looking for me. That didn’t take as long as I’d hoped.Stan thinks to himself, What awful timing. Stan: Can you delay going. I’d be willing to learn.Babe: I’ll try. But I can’t think of a reason that she’ll accept.Stan: Don’t answer. Catch up to her later. Say we were exploring the ship.Babe: Or exploring each other?Stan turns around in the bed to face Babe, tears welling up.Stan: Babe, I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I just didn’t know. I didn’t know I could be with you.Babe gives him a big hug and kisses him square on the lips.Babe: I love you too Stan. I can act the way I do with you because you’re the only person since my mother that I can be natural around. I know you can accept me for who I am. We’ve just never been alone together long enough where I could gather my thoughts and tell you without just blurting it out.Stan: I can’t be like Larry or Hernando though. I think I’m too small too. I think I’d be a bottom. I don’t know. I never tried it.Babe: Alright then, let’s play around a little bit right now. (Babe stands and removes his boxers with flair and ends up kicking them across the room.KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKMyrtle: (from the other side of the door) I know you’re in there. I heard you talking.Babe is standing, wearing only his undershirt and bare from the waist down. Stan is admiring his ass as Babe scans the floor looking for his boxers. Stan realizes he needs to help and grabs Babe’s robe and throws it to him. Babe catches it and slips it on and runs for the door and opens it while tying it. Meanwhile Stan looks around at the floor toward where Babe kicked his underwear.Babe lets Myrtle in. Babe: Oh, hello dear. Back so soon. Myrtle: Didn’t that lady at the Spa call Stan’s room to let you know I was on my way up. We need to get ready for lunch. Come on. Hi Stanley.Myrtle grabs his hand tugs on him and turns to leave. Then stops to look again at what she thought she saw. She looks again to see a large pair of boxers hanging from a floor lamp. Both Stan and Babe see what she sees too. And nobody says anything as she pulls Babe out of the room.Myrtle: You too Stan. Get ready for lunch.Myrtle didn’t leave Babe to be alone with Stan for too long for the rest of the voyage home. Stan spent his time working on their next picture, entitled Their First Mistake. -- source link

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