Bird no. 370. Inside vs. outside . I’ve joined a dance troupe, and it’s making m
Bird no. 370. Inside vs. outside.I’ve joined a dance troupe, and it’s making me confront my anxiety in a big way..For pretty much the first time ever, I’m dancing in front of a mirror and seeing what my body looks like when it moves. The results have been… surprising, to say the least .More than a morbid curiosity, the mirror has shown me something really interesting: my timid and “safe” movements actually make me stand out more, not less. Uh oh .I feel like something broke open inside me today. What if that’s true for everything?.That timid dancer is the same anxious person that apologizes for responding late to an email, for saying no to things I don’t want to do, for only bringing chips to the party. I’m always apologizing for not meeting expectations that nobody had except me..My anxiety tells me not to move a certain way and gives me all sorts of feelings about it. What if I could use that mirror to see that my mind is not telling the truth?.What would it feel like to take up more space? What would it be like if I could disconnect my anxiety from my movement in the world? What if I could heal that part of me?.These thoughts are only coming now because I’m starting to feel more stable and secure, I have a clean and safe place to sleep, and my back pain is mostly gone..It really makes me feel for the past version of me that wasn’t ready, and didn’t have those things, and thought all of the garbage I was feeling was because I was not good enough and not doing enough..Minds lie sometimes, with the best intention of protecting us from stuff. I don’t need this particular thing anymore thanks, whatever it was for .Here’s to growing...This Atlantic Puffin was requested on Patreon by @quailschool! ❤️ Thank you! (at Montreal, Quebec)https://www.instagram.com/p/BoYEtPclaCi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=k5ncmdn7er93 -- source link