forcearama: gffa: forcearama: gffa: forcearama: gffa: YOU WANNA KNOW ONE THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL BE

forcearama:gffa:forcearama:gffa:forcearama:gffa:YOU WANNA KNOW ONE THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT STAR WARS?I was reading @forcearama‘s post about Obi-Wan’s death and her Snark Wars recap about how Obi-Wan’s all “I’m gonna cap this all off with physically becoming the Force right in front of you, which is something you’ve never seen anyone do and probably had no idea was even possible and is even funnier when you consider that you became a Sith in the first place because you wanted to cheat death;” at Vader during their fight and it made me think of Palpatine luring Anakin over to the Dark Side by promising that he could cheat death and how Sith are by word of god literally incapable of achieving this andHA HA SUCK IT PALPATINE “NOT FROM A JEDI” MY ASS YOU CAN ONLY LEARN THIS FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE LIGHT.Yes, Anakin wanted to save Padme’s life and this wouldn’t have been an option for her, plus he wanted to make her physical body stay alive, but that’s not the point, the point is that the only form of living beyond death we have in Immovable Objects of Star Wars History is through the light side, the Jedi and the Whills.Just imagine me sitting in the booth off to the side at that performance of Squid Lake up there, my hands cupped around my mouth to better shout, “WROOOOOOOOOOOOONG” in the most jeering tone I can when Palpatine is all dramatic and wide-eyed about “Not from a Jedi.” and being smug that Palpatine is dead and my Jedi babies get to live on in the Force.LOL I KNOW RIGHT. It’s the best thing. Also this made me think about this part in Revenge of the Sith, which cracks me up EVERY GODDAMN TIME: OH ANAKIN MY SWEET POTATO WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?Like, okay, fair, Sheev lures him in with:And this is actually the perfect thing to say to Anakin, who is desperate for a justification to save Padme, no matter what kind of deal with the devil he makes, but it’s okay if it’s not for selfish reasons, because it’s not for his own life, right? Right??But I HAVE A THOUSAND QUESTIONS AND ANAKIN SEEMS TO ASK PRECISELY ZERO OF THEM.WHO DID HE SAVE?  WHAT QUALITY OF LIFE DID THEY HAVE?  WHAT FORM WERE THEY IN BEFORE AND AFTER?  WAS HE PHYSICALLY REPAIRING BODIES OR WAS HE CIRCUMVENTING FATE?  IS THIS FORCE HEALING OR SOMETHING ELSE?  DOES HE JUST ~*STOP DEATH*~ SO LIKE YOU’RE ALIVE BUT YOUR BODY STILL HAS ALL THE WOUNDS IT TOOK BEFORE THE DEATH?  OR WOULD PADME JUST FULL ON STOP GROWING, FOREVER FROZEN IN TIME, AND PROBABLY SUPER PREGNANT FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS BECAUSE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE BIRTH IF SHE WAS FROZEN AS SHE WAS???  WHAT ACTUAL EVIDENCE WAS LAID OUT TO MAKE HIM/YOU BELIEVE THAT HE ACTUALLY SAVED SOMEONE FROM DEATH???Look, I don’t believe for one red hot second that Anakin Skywalker doesn’t watch a bunch of melodramatic holos, THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS HE SHOULD KNOW TO ASK.Yes, Anakin should have totally asked, oh, literally ANY of these questions. TOO BAD HIS DUMB DOOFUS BRAIN COULD NOT GET THERE. He really should never have been let out of the house unsupervised. When Ahsoka left the Order the Jedi should have hired her back on as an independent contractor whose entire job was just babysitting Anakin whenever Obi-Wan had to go somewhere, including whenever he had to leave the room to pee. ALSO, PLEASE CONSIDER SOMETHING THAT IS MAKING ME LAUGH OUT LOUD: I guess I’ve always assumed that Plagueis must have done SOMETHING related to “saving people from death” in SOME form, but what if Palpatine was just totally full of shit, and Plagueis didn’t know squat about saving anyone from dying, ever? WHAT IF ALL OF IT WAS COMPLETELY FABRICATED BULLSHIT. He knows what Anakin wants to hear, AND he knows he probably won’t ever have to deliver on actually giving that to him, AND by the time Anakin figures ANY of this out he’s going to be in too deep to back out anyways. This Futurama mashup I made said it best, really: ALL RIGHT LOOK I TRIED NOT TO GO TO THIS PLACE, I HAVE BOOKS TO BLOG ABOUT AND ALL THAT, BUT I HAVE A HEADCANON AND I WANT TO SHARE IT.I know there’s Legends stuff from various other authors and such, that the Sith learned how to manipulate midi-chlorians and Sidious learned how to transfer his consciousness into the bodies of his clones, etc.  I think, if nothing else, Sidious must have known that it was possible to revive someone through manipulating the Force, you can theorize that that’s what he did with Anakin at the end of Revenge of the Sith.  (Though, I prefer that it was just simply that Anakin was so much a literal child of the Force that he survived things that SHOULD have killed him.)Ultimately, though, I think this was a gamble on Palpatine’s part, that he had absolutely no intention of saving Padme’s life or that it would ever become an issue.  I think he knew that she would die and so it didn’t matter if he could follow through on his promises or not, it would never come to that, because she’d be dead (whether by Anakin’s hand when he turned on her or simply forseeing that she was so broken-hearted she died or if you believe he drained her life force away to save Anakin), because Palpatine definitely wanted her dead.  He would never have Anakin’s loyalty or have Vader under his thumb so long as Padme Amidala was alive.So, if we’re going by Immovable Objects of Star Wars History only, PALPATINE MIGHT HAVE BEEN TOTALLY FULL OF SHIT ABOUT IT AND IT WOULD NEVER MATTER BECAUSE HE HAD ZERO INTENTIONS OF SAVING HER, OH MY GOD WHAT A MAGNIFICENT PIECE OF SHIT THIS TURD LORD IS.DO YOU… DO YOU EVER JUST LOVE SOMEONE SO THOROUGHLY REPUGNANT AND HORRIBLE, BECAUSE THEY GIVE PRECISELY ZERO FUCKS ABOUT ANYTHING EVER EXCEPT BEING HORRIBLE?This is news to no one, but this hilarious crazypants is a MAJOR fave of mine. I LIVE for this guy’s insane speeches and his CONSTANT MEDDLING WITH EVERYONE’S LIVES. I love how in the books he is often lost in his evil fantasies about how great it’s gonna be to kill or corrupt whoever it is he’s currently speaking to.  Obi-Wan: Hello Chancellor, I’d like to give you an update on this mission I just finished. Things went well. Anakin swallowed an action figure by accident on the ride home, but I saved him. Sheev: [inner voice] GOD it’s gonna be the BEST when THIS GUY is dead MAN ANAKIN IS GOING TO LOSE HIS FUCKING SHIT AND IT’S GONNA BE HILARIOUS. And when that day comes? ADVANTAGE: SHEEV. Sheev: [aloud] Yes, thank you Master Kenobi you’re SUCH an important asset to this Republic. Padme: [walking in] Chancellor, I’d like to discuss these refugees I want to help. Sheev: [inner voice] AND HERE’S THIS BITCH AGAIN. It’s gonna be sweet to finally get this one out of my hair FINALLY AND  ALSO ANAKIN WILL GO FUCKING CRAZY WHEN THAT HAPPENS HA HA HA HA HA WHAT AN IDIOT HE IS SO DUMB. Sheev: [aloud] The Republic does not deserve you, Senator. Do let me know if I can be of any assistance. And please be careful, I couldn’t STAND to think of you being hurt. [smirk]Yoda: [shuffling through the doorway]  Brought you tea, I have, Chancellor. A pleasant walk I thought we might take, and discuss how we might bring the war to an end.Sheev: [inner voice] HA HA HA OH BOY WELL I CAN THINK OF ONE WAY TO END THE WAR RIGHT DAMN NOW OK OK TRY NOT TO KILL HIM YET SHEEV HOLD IT TOGETHER EVEN THOUGH YOU REALLY REALLY WANNA TODAY IS NOT THE DAY JUST HOLD ON AND KEEP TELLING ANAKIN ALL OF HIS PROBLEMS ARE BECAUSE OF THIS DUDE AND HIS ORDERThe villains of Star Wars are an absolutely goddamn DELIGHT, and this dude is the BEST. HE’S SO EVIL AND THAT IS LITERALLY ALL HE IS ABOUT. I would be totally on board with the story being that Sidious made all of the saving-from-death stuff up, because he does not give even one half of a shit about lying to Anakin about this and he knows that Anakin is too dense and desperate to ask follow-up questions until it’s too late. His scenery-chewing in Revenge of the Sith and Return of the Jedi ALONE make Star Wars worth watching. Ian always looks like he’s having WAY TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS CHARACTER and really, who the hell could blame him? Getting to just lean in to the most over the top ABSOLUTE WICKEDNESS, complete with THOSE LINES HE GOT –godhelpmeilovestarwarsdialoguesomuch – must have been a total blast. -- source link

More pics about