conspiicuouss: surprisebitch:but the real question is when did the skeleton war begin and why
conspiicuouss: surprisebitch: but the real question is when did the skeleton war begin and why? history side of tumblr, please discuss Once upon a time, there were two separate groups of skeletons who believed in different things. This was the cause of the skeleton war. It was the year 1635 and all was good at the time. The skeletons lived among each other in peace and did not disturb each other. In the year 1640, things changed. One group of skeletons were known as The Tricksters. They believed that Halloween itself was for them. These are the skeletons you see at stores and outside houses (they are not toys and you should always be cautious around them okay just a friendly tip). They thought that skeletons were the main part of Halloween, and fought over the fact that they were not the sole reason that Halloween existed (in my opinion, they kinda seemed like pretentious asshole tbh but whatever) and they were labeled as selfish and claimed to be exalted by all children across the world on Halloween night. This of course, was not completely true. This was considered highly insulting to The Hiders. The Hiders were the second group of skeletons. These skeletons believed that all skeletons should stay in the ground, where they were originally placed. They thought it was wrong to be on the surface, after your family and or friends had shed so many tears over you at your funeral. They found comfort in their coffins and preferred to stay six feet under. They basically hid from the world and could often be found surfing the web with stolen internet by nearby houses (what jerks). One day, The Tricksters declared a war upon The Hiders. Both sides dropped everything a prepared for the war. The General of The Tricksters Army was known as Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen. He was #1. He was a bad ass, and it was as simple as that. He got all the cool skeleton chicks and had 351 children in total. Like I said, total bad ass. Anyways, Smitty’s bad ass attitude inspired his skeleton army to defeat and conquer the other skeletons. The General of The Hiders was know as Bill Jameson. He was a total bore. He was often distracted, dreaming about fictional worlds where the skeletons lived in peace again. He was pretty nice, and most considered him a nerd. He couldn’t not talk to girls or anybody for that matter, so instead of talking to his army in person, he sen them all a lengthy e-mail consisting of the training schedule with strict instructions on who would enroll in the army. They were prepared for war at last. Both armies said their farewells and kissed their children, wives, and husbands goodbye. Tears were shed and heartfelt stories were exchanged among the families. It was unknown if anybody would return home. The Tricksters and Hiders met somewhere in between their homelands and thus began the Skeleton War. Smitty rode in his motorcycle with his bad ass attitude and rubbed it in Bill’s face. Since Bill was extremely shy and was terrified of public speaking and crowds, he walked up to Smitty and his motorcycle, and trapped him in a net. Bill dragged Smitty into a ditch as the Skeleton War continued on. It is now 334 years later and their seems to be no near end to the Skeleton War it seems. Jameson and Werbenjagermanjensen are yet to be found and are believed to still be stuck in the ditch somewhere. Troops are growing older and weaker by the day. Supplies are low, and families worry about the well being of their partners. No side seems to have advanced and they have all forgotten why they are fighting anymore. Although, either side refuses to give in to the other. This is the history of the Skeleton War, my children. Learn it well, for maybe one day you will have the honor of participating in the Skeleton War one day yourself. I want someone to narrate this… -- source link