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textsfromstarkiller:(585): My “lord keep me from stabbing a bitch” prayer has gotten a lot of miles
textsfromstarkiller: (512): You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea…
textsfromstarkiller:(514): What are you, a fucking toaster ?
textsfromstarkiller:(785): Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me t
textsfromstarkiller:(501): No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anythin
textsfromstarkiller:(440): WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
textsfromstarkiller:(713): I’ve seen you dance and let’s just say its a good thing you don’t have a
textsfromstarkiller:(586): Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Thin
textsfromstarkiller:(361): You’re officially the most high maintenance man I’ve eve
textsfromstarkiller:(714): i’m not so sure everythign we did last night was legal…
textsfromstarkiller:(314): I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract yo
textsfromstarkiller:(612): Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
textsfromstarkiller:(843): As a general rule of thumb, I don’t call until the claw marks
textsfromstarkiller:(904): I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I&r
textsfromstarkiller:(607): IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON’T, I WILL FUCK
textsfromstarkiller:(917): I haven’t listened to news as I’ve been having lesbian s
textsfromstarkiller: (915): Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
textsfromstarkiller:(917): He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay s
textsfromstarkiller:(714): can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
textsfromstarkiller: (613): I’ve seen your dick too many times for both of us to be strai
textsfromstarkiller: (516): People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
textsfromstarkiller: (386): only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual
textsfromstarkiller: (424): Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service
textsfromstarkiller: (847): Friends don’t let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
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